bdsm

/Tag:bdsm

Top drop, melancholia and coming down.

Recently I saw a post about Top drop or as they described it a 'Rigger's Melancholy' (which is a term I really liked btw.) It caught me at a wrong moment and I posted that yeh, everyone knows about it. I was expecting someone to take issue with the tone of my response or criticise me for ever being exasperated by the endless repetition of the same questions, any display of less than perfect temper or humanity. Something along those lines. I was pretty surprised therefore to see a reply that didn't make any of those reasonable complaints but instead insisted that not everyone had or was aware of this experience.  I will quote the response exactly here so you can see that I'm not making this up. No, WykD_Dave, not everyone already knows about it. The great thing about this group is that we have a wide variety of experiences and skills. I would like to hear positive and constructive information from experts like you about how to recognize top drop coming on and how to deal with the feelings. What most struck me is the assumption that this is some unique experience or out of the ordinary emotion or feeling. You do something emotionally and or physically intense and you have a natural high from it, then you have a low to a greater or lesser extent afterwards. Yes we're all a bit different and have greter or lesser responses and some come down sooner or more steeply than others but surely this is a common human experience though to anyone who's ever done anything intense, euphoric, joyous. To anyone who's triumphed on the sports field, been in love, had great sex, strived [...]

By | 2015-04-20T21:34:56+00:00 April 20th, 2015|Categories: Life|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

What’s a TK

So, what's a TK really? Is it a specific thing or is it a class of tie, a form? This is a question that seems to vex a lot of people and probably for understandable reasons. There are plenty of non-tk tks out there. Let's avoid the language question about takatekote for this post and just take it as having the meaning that it seems to have grown to have in the west and that is of a kind of vaguely japanese (ish) box tie. I'd also for the purposes of this post to leave out the whole hands high argument and discussion of 'gote' vs. 'kote'. The real answer to this is the one that people tend not to like when I give it. It depends. Depends what you mean, depends what the person you're talking to means. When you say TK to me I am going to think of the TK that I personally tie. But the TK that I personally tie depends on a lot of factors and may be different under any number of different circumstances. It's also changed over time, or rather they've all changed over time. What is and isn't a TK is subjective, what's a good TK or a good TK for say suspension is less subjective because to be a good TK for something it needs to fulfil some real world requirements about being structurally sound, well placed etc. The term 'TK' has been used for so many different ties and interpretations and failed re-engineering attempts that it is in some ways denuded of meaning. This can in some circumstances be  a positive thing if you think about it in the right way as it means that [...]

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:05+00:00 November 15th, 2014|Categories: Rope|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Baltimore (2012)

In 2012 we had the great pleasure of staying with Hammer, Roxy and Lochai in Baltimore after that year's Shibaricon. One cool thing there was visiting the Baltimore Play House and giving an impromptu show there. This video is thanks to our good friend Murphy (BlueRisk). We'd like to say thanks to everyone that made us feel so welcome in Baltimore for their tremendous hospitality. We had a wonderful time and hope we'll make it back some day soon. Our stay was, as always, all too brief.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:05+00:00 March 2nd, 2014|Categories: Community, Life, Performance|Tags: , , |0 Comments

A wonderful 2013

It's been an extraordinary year. Things have happened that I could not have predicted. Surprising and wonderful opportunities have come my way. I have worked with some amazing people. I just don't know what to say about most of it. Some of it seems like a dream. It's good to take a moment and reflect on the things that have happened and remember that through all of the triumphs and disasters of life that they never happen in isolation from the rest of the world. I have had opportunities that would simply never have occurred without the kindness and generosity of some extraordinary friends. I absolutely thank them from the bottom of my heart for their support and friendship. Knowing such people is one of life's great joys. Every year it seems that it's hard to imagine that the next could possibly be better than the previous one. Yet it's kept happening for the last few years. This past year I have tied for an international fashion magazine (more news when that's published), The movie love.honour.obey by Raindance Raw Talent and Mulholland pictures and directed by Ate de Jong. Last but not least the epic opportunity to work with avant garde legend Bob Wilson. It was a rare opportunity to play a part in his project for the Louvre gallery in Paris. More incredibly the model for this project was Lady Gaga. I can't say how incredible it feels to know that there's some full on suspension bondage hanging in the worlds most famous art gallery.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:05+00:00 February 15th, 2014|Categories: Bondage, Life|Tags: , , |0 Comments

What is Kinbaku today?

This is a personal post and just a musing.  What I think it is changes over time and this is not everything that I think it is. If you're looking for a definition please look elsewhere. Kinbaku is the art of erotic, sensual, intimate, bondage. It is tying for beauty, helplessness and exquisite suffering. To tie is to hug, tender and violent. It is lust and art together. It is expression beyond my ability to describe it.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:06+00:00 January 22nd, 2014|Categories: Bondage, Rope|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Beginners teaching rope bondage

You need experience to be a good teacher. I'm not saying that it takes decades to get that experience but it does take some time and application. People often argue this need... actually people without experience often argue this need. They usually stop arguing it after acquiring experience. Especially when that experience is acquired the hard way. The real problem is that only experience really teaches you how valuable your experience is. Before you have it it's hard to imagine what it gives you. Unfortunately it is often only when people have the experience of coming undone and learning the hard way that they realise that actually experience does inform our actions at all levels, especially when passing on knowledge to others. It teaches us what was crucial and what was not. It allows us to recognise and head off developing problems that are otherwise noticed too late. Experience allows us to make judgements that are based not just on book learned facts. It develops our ability to balance many factors though practice. Inexperience and overconfidence can lead to the attitude that all this crap that experienced people are coming out with is just unreasonable. They're only saying that because... (insert today's justification here). It's unfair to try to stop them, who are manifestly an exception to the normal process of learning and maturity! It's a problem I have with some kinds of peer workshop teaching. The guy who learned something yesterday is teaching it today. Weirdly people don't seem to think that this could lead to problems. I think that peer learning can be great when people already have very good basics and are therefore able to recognise problems for themselves. When beginners are [...]

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:06+00:00 January 1st, 2014|Categories: Bondage, Community, Education, Life, Rope, Work|Tags: , , , , , , , |0 Comments

Conflicted perspectives

I see a great deal of debate on-line that I believe is at cross purposes. Often this surrounds the issue of Japanese vs. European or Western perspectives about Shibari. I think a great many of these arguments are mistaken, miss-directed and completely unproductive. I believe that this is because each of those arguing from either end of the spectrum mistakes something fundamental.  That is that they are each looking at the other from a perspective that is determined by their own exclusive interest. I know that many people only know me for my Japanese style bondage but I have done all kinds of bondage over the years and still occasionally do DID shoots on a professional basis for websites. This should I hope inform the reader that I'm more than reasonably good at the 'western' style and help people not to assume that I, as some have so delightfully put it "have no right to talk about anything other than the Japanese style". While I of course thank you for your short sightedness, prejudice and stupidity together with the laugh it gives me. I'm going to talk about it anyway. Looking at DID bondage and judging it as Shibari is bound to lead to the conclusion that it isn't very good. It's not good Shibari. It wasn't created to be good Shibari, it doesn't do what good Shibari should. Looking at Shibari from a DID perspective is going to lead to a similar conclusion. Personally I find them to be very different each from the other. They foster and require different attitudes. They have ultimately different goals. Accepting that they are both forms of rope bondage they are probably as dissimilar as types of rope bondage can [...]

By | 2013-12-28T21:09:44+00:00 December 29th, 2013|Categories: Bondage|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

The bound before the LFAJRB 2013

It's hard to know where to begin writing about this years festival. So much happened and we had such a good time with friends old and new. For us the festival began behind the scenes a few months before the date but... the festival for real began on the night of Bound. We had nothing planned, no show prepared, some music we had used last year and a brief chat on the way down about what the hell we were going to do. During the drive down Clover browsing the web on her phone noticed that Bound was due to  be streamed live that night, so no pressure right? When we finally made it through London to The Flying Dutchman we found that there was a film crew from National Geographic who were going to film the nights performances. So again no pressure right? I have to say though that in the end we had an absolutely killer time that night and the rope just flowed. Frankly we just went up and played and had fun. I don't know when I've been more relaxed during a show. It was also great to see so many friends from around the world in that crowded pub. Including in one corner Naka Akira and Iroha Shizuki. Hell of a first night to our festival experience this year. Here are a few pictures though I don't know if anything can capture that hot atmosphere. More pictures in the portfolio here.   p.s. Oh and Naka Akira asked if he could keep one of my black candles!

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:06+00:00 October 8th, 2013|Categories: Bondage, Performance, Rope|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

The Most Very Universal Laws of Rope Bondage, part the third, the next bit, honest.

First thing, I did not write these universal laws of rope bondage. Jahc did! I did try to write something similar but in all honesty it wasn't nearly as fun as these so please enjoy and give credit where it's due! Well, the Part the First, and Part the Second, were fun. Kind of.... I doubt this will be, though. But hey, I am bored, again, so bung a badger on the barbie, put some bunnies on the boil, fill your face with whatever turns you on (consenting, sentential beings only, obviously), fillet a giblet or three and let's talk some toot. And rejoice, once more! Rejoiceth untilst thou shiteth thineself, dearest fiends, for we bringeth you the very latest and most Completely Officialest Bollocks About Rope Bondage, and Stuff! In order to do rope safely, you must first remove your nervous system. All rope bondage related injuries are caused by having nerves in your body, so it is essential to remove them before you get started, and leave them in a safe place, somewhere. Mine are in a jar on the mantelpiece, and have been for years. You should never attempt anything, unless you have had close instruction from a Master. Developing the ability to figure things out for yourself will only bring you unhappiness, make your belly hang over your belt and your bum fall off. Figuring things out for yourself is not blind experimentation. This has been clinically proven in randomised double blind trials, which are really fun, when you get the hang of them. The downside is that the null hypothesis is 100% fatal. You can break any rope. If you really want to.You might find it more useful to learn how to [...]

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:06+00:00 July 14th, 2013|Categories: Bondage, Life|Tags: , , , |1 Comment

The Most Very Universal Laws of Rope Bondage, part the second, the serious bit, honest.

First thing, I did not write these universal laws of rope bondage. Jahc did! I did try to write something similar but in all honesty it wasn't nearly as fun as these so please enjoy and give credit where it's due! Part the First was complete toot, but turned out to be a bit of a hit, amazingly. Shame the sequel is never quite as good.... But I'm bored, and feeling ill, so tough shit, you can suffer too. So, kick off your feet, loin up your girdles, adopt the 'receiving' position, or whatever does it for you, baby. For, this very day, this most very joyous day of days, we give you ..... some more Totally and Rather Slightly Universal Laws of Rope Bondage, and Stuff! You do not have to be hardcore, or even awesome. Some of the very ever bestest fun rope ever is exceedingly messy, and not in a photograph. Being good, and striving to be better, is not elitism. Why do people say it is? It's really very silly, that. It is impossible to tie a knot in a banana. Bananas do not need knots, and neither do you. And there’s a lot of larks out there, missing their heads. Telling someone that something they are doing is wrong, is sometimes the right thing to do. Knowing when you should say so is also relatively easy – knowing how, is virtually impossible. Ergo, if someone questions what you are doing, they may have a point. Even if they fuck up the question. It might just be worth listening to them. People will love your picture three times as much, if there is a cat in it. The cat is not getting in [...]

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:06+00:00 July 14th, 2013|Categories: Bondage, Life|Tags: , , |1 Comment