Alex Cobra whip class
This class was Clover's idea, she's been organising demo munches in Nottingham for some Time. These have been free and have largely been done with local people presenting.
For some things however the most skilful people aren't always conveniently on your doorstep and you need to bring them in.
This, not unreasonably means paying for their time and covering their expens. So this would be the first time that it was necessary to charge those attending. The lesson with Alex plus the play party after was £25/person an absolute bargain. Alex was also very generous with his time and knowledge and taught for far longer than he'd been booked for. He's also very clearly a real enthusiast for what he does. He whips, he teaches and he makes really superb whips. I have to say that we got straight onto the waiting list to get another whip made for personal use.
The class itself was really great, Alex made everything very easy to understand and explained the principles behind what we were shown.
If you're interested in really learning how to use that expensive whip then you really should book this guy either one on one or for your group. His level of skill and knowledge really are a real recommendation of his classes. He's also a very energetic and engaging teacher.
We really had a great time in this class. Really fun and informative too!
Check out his stite at cobrawhips.com
Tying like me.
Sometimes people say that they would love to learn to tie like me. Can I teach them?
First I have to say that I consider these requests to be some of the highest compliments you can receive as someone teaching bondage. It really is personally something of a thrill when someone says something like that. It is however not possible.
I can't teach people to tie like me. But it's possible that I can, given time help them to do something much more satisfying and help them to learn how to tie like them.
I, no matter how much I may wish to can never tie like one of the greats that I admire. I can learn from them. I can observe them, I can be inspired by their ties. I can emulate some of their tying to better understand it. I cannot however really understand their thought, feeling or style completely. It effects mine but it is not mine. Their inspiration and something of their aesthetic that struck a chord with me however does become part of my style. And a persons style grows over time with the accumulation of experience, practice, observation, and study.
As a teacher I can I think help people to embark on their personal rope bondage journeys. I can never travel it for them though. Their journey is not mine, mine is not theirs, my experience cannot be theirs either, though they can benefit from it.
It can be that you see a disappointed face when you tell someone that they cannot learn to tie as you do. But for those that have the potential to do well they will grasp that this is not a bad thing. It is an opportunity for self discovery, to know yourself, to be yourself. Surely this is a good thing?
I cannot teach you to tie like me, be glad of that.
Intellectual honesty
Intellectual honesty is an academic method for the presentation of information in an unbiased and honest way.
This requires that...
- Facts are presented in an unbiased manner.
- Facts are not omitted even when they may contradict the writers preconceived ideas.
- Personal beliefs are not allowed to interfere with the pursuit of truth.
- References are cited where possible.
- The presentation of information not be skewed to support the writers personal agenda.
Harvard ethicist Louis M. Guenin describes the "kernel" of intellectual honesty to be...
"a virtuous disposition to eschew deception when given an incentive for deception."
I felt moved to post this due to the large number of opinion pieces published on-line that are presented as fact that are plainly bias, that omit inconvenient facts, that are vehicles for people's personal beliefs, that cite no credible reference and that skew information to support a personal agenda.
There is nothing wrong with people posting personal opinion, I often do so myself. What is wrong is to disguise personal agenda as 'scholarly' writing. I know that it happens all the time; that however doesn't make it right or acceptable.
I hope that it's clear when I state opinion, where I state fact I believe I can back it up and where I quote I cite sources.
Further reading
General statements regarding intellectual honesty in reasearch and writing are given in the policies of all British universities. For those not in the UK I include example references of two Universities one in the USA and one in Canada.
- On intellectual honesty (University of California ~ Irvine)
- K.1 Statement of Intellectual Honesty (University of Calgary)
Louis M. Guenin is quoted from Synthese, Vol. 145, No. 2, Candor in Science (Pub: Springer 2005)
Self taught
Often online I see people advised to go and get tuition, especially when it comes to suspension. This is a perfectly reasonable piece of advice; and yet people argue against it with such phrases as 'so and so was self taught and they're good'.
OK that's a point of view but for the most part those that are 'self taught' are those that didn't have access to competent teachers. They had to learn by trial thought and unfortunately on occasion error. Just because it's possible to learn that way it doesn't mean it's an ideal way of learning and certainly doesn't recommend it as a preferable path.
I have something of an issue with the phrase 'self taught' in any case. I have learned from many people, most of whom have not 'taught' me at all but who I've learned from by observation. Technically you can say I taught myself but in reality some my knowledge was derived from theirs. I have built on this knowledge, drawn my own conclusions, made my own explorations too. It is this that allows us to develop, be individual, make our own contributions.
This is true to some extent for everyone. Nobody, even those held up as examples of the self taught live in a vacuum. From the moment you become aware of the work of others you cannot help but be informed by it.
We are all inspired by, learn from, our contemporaries and those that went before. In this world of mass communication, the internet, video and books, we are never truly isolated from information. With easy international travel we are no longer isolated from the best teachers even if they are on the other side of the world.
It depends.
People often ask questions in relation to bondage that are impossible to answer.
- How long is too long
- How long is tingling acceptable for
- How long can someone stay in this
- How many wraps do you need
- How heavy is too heavy
- etc...
These questions broadly all have the same answer... it depends.
This is because every situation, bondage, model, tie and every day is different. How long you can do anything with bondage for is dependent on a multitude of factors. Obvious one might think but still people want an answer that they can apply ‘roughly’; even rough answers are highly subjective.
Person A may have good circulation, be a healthy weight and have good muscle tone. Person B may have poor circulation, be morbidly obese and have no muscle tone. This is an extreme example but it must be obvious that the answer to “Roughly how long can someone hang in this suspension” will depend massively on the person being tied. It will also depend on how tired, hydrated, fed... etc. etc. the person is. It will also depend on how they’re tied, how tight, with what rope... etc. etc. the bondage is done with. It will also depend on how hot or cold... etc. etc. the place where the bondage takes place is. And on what else you’re doing, have done... etc. etc. during play or the day. Also psychological effects play a large role in how people react to stressful bondage. So if someone is pissed off, sad, depressed, happy... etc. etc. It effects the answer to these questions.
Sometimes I think the most disturbing thing about these questions is the fact that even people that aren’t exactly new to bondage seem to not know why they’re unanswerable in any very useful form. Even giving a general estimate is going to be a liability if someone is going to take that estimate as some kind of reasonable working figure and watch the clock rather than actually understanding what’s actually going on.
So what is the answer?
The real answer is not always a popular one. The real answer is that you have to develop judgement. This means learning about a variety of things over time, and that means developing experience and judgement. And that means hard work, observation, study, practice, not expecting everything to come at once, and... not expecting easy pat answers.
Sensational life
We are kinky, we are lascivious we are lustful we are experience junkies, we are sensualists.
From everything I know of myself and my friends, what we ultimately want is to experience life and our partners. The sensations of our experience, our interactions, the experience of our reaction to the reactions of others. Everything in kink is I think on some level about experience and sensation.
Why? Because it makes us alive. Life is about experience, the things that happen in it both good and bad.
As individuals in kink I think many are driven by the need to extend our experiences beyond the mundane, to not be limited in our experiences. To take an experience otherwise unpleasant and to pervert that into a sensual feast for the kinkster is I think the obvious expression of this.
Spanking, beating, flogging, caning, restraint, rope, chains, whips and all manner of roleplay scenario are pressed into the service of this goal. People roleplay and act out taboos. In fact this is one of the things that people misunderstand. Something that would in reality be very unpleasant is taken and turned into something fun, thrilling, erotic. To fail to understand the distinction between playing with the idea of something and the thing itself is to fail to understand how these kinds of play work entirely.
All of these things are about vivid, intense experiences. In extremis we are brought more presently into the moment we live and live that moment more completely.
Sometimes kinksters are reviled as sub human, freaks, lacking in feeling and empathy. This is I believe the opposite of the truth. It is very human to seek experience. I think those that limit their experiences are strange. I give my partner experiences and sensation because I have empathy, because in those moments we are so connected.
We yearn to experience... It’s only human.
Lizard brain leftovers
I can’t help thinking that there is a duality in humanity between the ‘civilised’ lives we lead and the primal urges lurking beneath the surface. I think that this duality of humanity is of great relevance and interest in terms of BDSM where we create a framework within which we can exploit, play with and enjoy our fundamental desires consensually.
Typically we build sophisticated structures to exploit and extract these urges. We use language, visual imagery, clothing, even technology to enhance the experience. Often something ritualistic surrounds these practices.
I think that as humans we can’t help but use, or if you like pervert the practices of everyday modern life into instruments of pleasure and pleasurable pain. A massager is turned into vibrating genital stimulator, cooking implements into impact toys, and of course, rope into an instrument of bondage and domination.
With every advance in technology comes an advance in human pleasure, Tesla coils power violet wands originally intended for health purposes for electrical stimulation and torture. Tens units invented for muscular rehabilitation for the torture of the helpless twitching ‘victim’.
All this to serve our most base instincts. And yet this is not a runaway process. We do not generally let ourselves run over into actual abuse. We require consent, even for the theoretically non-consensual aspects of our play. Sometimes this sounds convoluted and illogical. And yet we cannot deny that this is the case.
This then is the duality that causes a struggle. Our evolution makes us a tool using, reasoning, social creature but also we remain the animal, the primal lust filled beast.
Perhaps it’s a wonderful achievement is the satisfaction of both of these in kink. We control our primal lusts, fencing them around with ritual and social custom even where the normal social customs did not reach. We make our partners satisfaction part of the satisfaction or our own by seeking out complimentary partners. In the triumph of our social selves, the control of the primal, and yet the satisfaction of it too without descending into abuse we find again that which is unique about humanity.
I think that this makes us more human not less.
Fotofest 2012
The Art of Contemporary Shibari Exhibit is a 6 week long event as part of the Fotofest 2012 Biennial in Houston, Texas. I have submitted 6 pieces of art to this exhibition.
DoctorZ has put a lot into this weekend and if you can make it along, I think it will be a wonderful event, with live performances, the public are invited to bring their cameras to participate in this visually binding opportunity and discuss this art form with these very accomplished artists from all over the world. There is also the opportunity to take part in a Shibari Shoot on Monday the 19th March, you will find more information on this here.
The artists exhibiting include; Cannon, Captured Erotica, CharlyB, DallasKink, LeeDavid, DoctorZ, Jim Duvall, Stefano Laforgia, Hikari Kesho, Chi Lum, MaillerPhong, Zee Maitri, Noble Manqué, Alexander Neptune, Lew Rubens, Riccardo Sergnese, and myself with WykD_Dave. A wonderful mix of style and talent from all over the world.
Come along and show your support and have a wonderful time with all the activities, live performance and opening reception, you may even be moved to buy a print.
Below are a couple of prints I am submitting which are limited edition prints one of ten, signed.
I don’t see what’s so special about…
Many times you see posts along the lines of "I don't see what's so special about..." be it was about, Nureki, Deneki, Yukimura etc. The common factor in many of these is that the comments often come from those who are new to bondage and they're speaking about those that are recognised by skilled riggers as being very good. In some cases world renowned good.
It's sometimes possible to see why these comments can be made. I've realised over time that the more skilled someone becomes the more equipped they become to recognise skill in others. Also the kind of skills that are perceptible change over time.
Perception changes with the ability to perceive, the ability to perceive changes with practice, experience and skill. What looks good to beginners tends to be symmetrical, neat. Often people are attracted to the fancy or impressive looking ties. Beginners often like the spectacular, and suspensions are given very high priority.
Often people will ask the question "What's so special about..." people who have been seen as amongst the best for oh 20 or 30 years or longer, not only in Japan but now further throughout the world.
What might be a good question is; what do other people see that the questioner doesn't. Or maybe they were just fooling everyone, partners, photographers, film makers, students... for decades without anyone noticing until they, alone in all the world did. Or they might want to consider that they could, just possibly be missing something.
When I think of rope
When I think of rope it is such a humble thing, such a workman like product of the artisan. Such a simple thing with which to enthral the senses and to bind the body and spirit of another.
And yet, in this unassuming and humble item we find the perfect means for the expression of our desires to capture utterly the spirit, mind and body of another.
Our rope becomes the extension of ourselves that reaches where we cannot, that embraces beyond our reach and holds beyond our strength.
Because of this our rope becomes personal to us in a special way. Like the tool of a craftsman. So we care for and attend to the needs of our rope as we care for something with a value we cannot express. We prepare and ready it for its role, we care for it after use.
It is after all, an extension of ourselves in our most intimate endeavours.