We live only for the moment, in which we admire the splendour of the moonlight, the snow, the cherry blossom and the colours of the maple-leaves. We enjoy the day, warmed by wine, without allowing the poverty which stares us in the face to restore our sobriety. In this drifting – like a pumpkin carried along by the current of the river – we do not allow ourselves to be discouraged for a moment.
This is what is called the floating, fleeting world.~Ukiyo Monogatari by Asai Ryoi
We are kinky, we are lascivious we are lustful we are experience junkies, we are sensualists.
From everything I know of myself and my friends, what we ultimately want is to experience life and our partners. The sensations of our experience, our interactions, the experience of our reaction to the reactions of others. Everything in kink is I think on some level about experience and sensation.
Why? Because it makes us alive. Life is about experience, the things that happen in it both good and bad.
As individuals in kink I think many are driven by the need to extend our experiences beyond the mundane, to not be limited in our experiences. To take an experience otherwise unpleasant and to pervert that into a sensual feast for the kinkster is I think the obvious expression of this.
Spanking, beating, flogging, caning, restraint, rope, chains, whips and all manner of roleplay scenario are pressed into the service of this goal. People roleplay and act out taboos. In fact this is one of the things that people misunderstand. Something that would in reality be very unpleasant is taken and turned into something fun, thrilling, erotic. To fail to understand the distinction between playing with the idea of something and the thing itself is to fail to understand how these kinds of play work entirely.
All of these things are about vivid, intense experiences. In extremis we are brought more presently into the moment we live and live that moment more completely.
Sometimes kinksters are reviled as sub human, freaks, lacking in feeling and empathy. This is I believe the opposite of the truth. It is very human to seek experience. I think those that limit their experiences are strange. I give my partner experiences and sensation because I have empathy, because in those moments we are so connected.
We yearn to experience… It’s only human.
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