Tying the whole rope. Binding the whole person. Fucking you, the whole way up!
Rope date with Jack and Zahara in London was a very fun event for us. Held in The Resistance Gallery in Bethnal Green the venue had a great atmosphere. After party Shibari rope bondage performance flyer. The gallery has had some bad fortune recently with a fire wrecking most of the place. Their Resistance rising campaign is here. At night and with limited lighting running on extension leads this venue really was a dark and underground experience. The perfect venue therefore for some nice harsh rope bondage. I had fun putting Clover through some nasty stuff. We had all-round a great time in London with the slight exception of the car's exhaust breaking half way down the motorway making progress there and all the way back more than a little 'loud' though I think we were getting used to it by the time we got home. I have to say a special thank you to Jack and Zahara for organising some great accommodation in a nearby hotel, not every event is so considerate. It was nice not to have to drive back in the night and it allowed us to start Sunday well with a lovely breakfast by the West Boating Lake. Outdoor breakfast with friends on a glorious and unseasonally warm Autumn day. What better opening to Sunday? Full gallery can be viewed here.
You know I used to say I was a rigger because it was a nice neutral term. But... well people have kind of turned it into a title of sorts and now people start posts with "I'm a rigger!" and it makes me cringe. Not least because I think... You're a rigger (in the titled sense you now mean it) and I think NO you're not, you'd maybe like to think you are but you're someone who maybe once in a while uses rope and it's a far cry from that to someone who can really rig. See if you want to use it like that especially about yourself you'd damn well better be able to do it. And most of you that have latched on to the previously serviceable and unpretentious word and turned it into a title and use it that way are exactly the people that it shouldn't apply to in that way. People seem obsessed with creating titles for themselves. Shut up and do some good rope instead. If you were good you wouldn't need 'titles' for yourself no would you?
There isn't one! The problem is in people being dickheads. I'll elaborate on that a bit... When people take pictures at events where pictures are not allowed; that's a problem. When people make calls in quiet spaces; that's a problem. When people do anything that they agreed not to do at an event, even without a cellphone; that's a problem. None of these are cellphone problems, but all of them are dickhead problems! Dickhead problems are behavioural problems. Some behavioural problems are due to personality and intellectual problems. To put that last comment into somewhat more prosaic terms. Some people are entitled, self regarding and stupid enough to think "Yeh, but that doesn't apply to me right?". Yes to you! Especially and particularly to you because you are an entitled, self regarding idiot with no regard for the restrictions that you yourself voluntarily agreed to but also with no regard to the rights and perfectly justified expectations of others in the space. Those people have every reasonable expectation that everyone else will give equal regard to those rules and restrictions. People bang on about banning cellphones, confiscating them, deleting media etc. Ban dickheads instead.
Bring me coffee and bring me rope. Bring me your smile and your hope. Bring me your love and your body whole. I will bind you body and soul.
References are a valuable tool for keeping you informed, aware and safe when considering playing with others. I cannot recommend getting references enough, although they are often overlooked and not used enough when considering tying with new people. I think that rope tops should vet bottoms and bottoms should vet tops before playing, shooting, and especially performing. I have heard of instances when this system has been abused, confidentiality is broken and people get angry and hurt. This results in a bad feeling and quality of reference. It can lead to scene drama and people being unwilling to give references. It is very simple to avoid this situation and have a great resource for our community. Giving References A good protocol to abide by when you are asked for a reference is to report facts, your own actual experience. Try not to sensationalise things in your head. It can be difficult but try to remain unbiased when giving a reference, separate your feelings from the person and inform the person what your own experience was or what your current knowledge is surrounding that individual. Getting References When asking for a reference, it is important to remember that you are asking for an account of someone’s individual experience with the person in question. They may be the one person to have a positive or negative experience so it is important to get more than one reference. When it comes to rope bondage I recommend gathering as many references as possible from tops and bottoms to build a picture of the person you are considering doing rope with. Potential Questions Negotiation How was negotiation handled? Was it done? Were agreements and limits honoured? Injury Accidental etc. What [...]
The title of this post is concerned with something that people often do not do. And that is actually see people! By that I mean see the actual person, not what they do, what they look like or how they dress. The actual person themselves! As human beings we have many mental short-cuts that enable us to function as human beings quickly and often without too much thinking. Therein lies the problem. For very good but ultimately socially unhelpful reasons we think in stereotypes. In them and us. In this and that. People are more complicated than that. People exist beyond a surface impression, have deeper lives than their appearance and are more than stereotypes. People are highly advanced social primitives. We're thinking animals. We have the ability to intellectually override our instincts if we so choose. The trouble is that sometimes we don't and we make the mistake of thinking that people are actually those superficial impressions. We are all more than what is on show. Sometimes people only want to see the surface, the simple the easily categorised. It makes life simple and saves them from thinking, from difficult moral decisions, from challenging the easy assumption. It's easy for a lot of people for instance to associate some modes of dress with simple definitions. For instance 'slut' with certain manners of dress and the assumption that goes with that as to someone's character, behaviour and ultimately worth as a human being. You don't have to think very hard to realise that there is more to someone than what they're wearing. Sometimes though it seems that many people can't think very hard at all. What about what you do for a living? People make [...]
In 2012 we had the great pleasure of staying with Hammer, Roxy and Lochai in Baltimore after that year's Shibaricon. One cool thing there was visiting the Baltimore Play House and giving an impromptu show there. This video is thanks to our good friend Murphy (BlueRisk). We'd like to say thanks to everyone that made us feel so welcome in Baltimore for their tremendous hospitality. We had a wonderful time and hope we'll make it back some day soon. Our stay was, as always, all too brief.
People argue a great deal about what they should call themselves and others. To me this seems such a pointless argument. Generally people are into what they're into for pleasure, for what pleases themselves and as far as I'm concerned they can call themselves what they want, even if I think it makes them sound a bit of a prat. I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to complain about their choice. Yet there is debate after debate on forums about terms that people have found offensive for whatever reason of their own. While I can understand if people are not comfortable with having terms that are not their choice applied to them I can't quite manage to be offended by their choice of term in itself. For some people their choices are part of their protocols. Again that's fine, if you want to be 'Master whatever' to your partner, you go ahead and be that and good luck to you. If it gives you a kick then brilliant. I'm only going to have a problem if you expect me to address you by your terms or subscribe to your relationship protocols. Because I will not any more than I'd expect anyone outside of my relationship to do things my way. That's really just another long winded way to say that I don't mind what you call yourself and you shouldn't mind what I call myself.* When it comes to the general use of words. Like for instance one that I'm very familiar with, the use of 'Rigger' to describe a rope bondage top... or bondage top, or nawashi or ropester** or bakushi or... well you get the idea. Still there are [...]
I see people replying over and over on posts "Oh but there are exceptions" and yet I don't write general posts based on the exceptional. I give it, based on the generality. Exceptions are just that, exceptional. That's why they are called the exceptional, they do not represent the vast majority of cases, people or circumstances. I can't help but think that when people make these arguments for the 'exceptional' they are mentally filing themselves in the exceptional category. You can understand why. Everyone wants to think of themselves as exceptional. In fact it's very common for people to think that they're exceptional.