The good, the bad and the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen

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The good, the bad and the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen

You see some terrible attempts at suspension. Many of these suspensions have, fortunately for those involved, not gone wrong. It is devoutly to be hoped for that they wont go wrong. However for as long as nothing goes wrong this bad rigging goes on. The people responsible will point out that nothing went wrong and that the person suspended had a good time.

The fact that nothing went wrong ‘this time’ didn’t make it any less of a bad suspension. It doesn’t make it any less likely to go wrong next time. Balancing on the knife edge of disaster and getting away with it isn’t a validation of bad bondage.

So… do you want something to go wrong or not?

No of course you don’t because the person harmed would be the poor person suspended and not the moronic piece of shit that did the awful suspension.

Now this is something I’ve really seen so bear with me and you’ll understand why I’m making a further post broadly on this subject.

A guy who’s been around for a while it seems did a suspension. The rope work was bad and I mean BAD. Sloppily done, poorly placed, badly applied. Notice I didn’t use the word ‘hurried’ there because even though it was awful he took ages. The guy didn’t look like he knew what he was doing at all! And yet he was going to do a suspension. So he has one end in a loop of rope that on later examination turned out to be held together with nothing more than a granny knot as his ‘hard point’. The safety of this was pointed out to him by me as soon as it was spotted. The girl was in bad pain (not because of the dangerous ‘hard point’ but because of the awful bondage) but this guy was in no hurry to get her down despite being told how dangerous it was. He did get her down before further action was needed because she became much more ‘verbal’ about her level of discomfort. She was complaining of pain in her shoulder for the rest of the time she was at the venue.

Did this guy learn anything from this? No of course not, not his fault is it? Just a fluke. On another occasion he’s at it again. This time the suspended ‘screamed to be let down’ the second they went up. His fault? No! He had the wrong rope, the wrong, biners, the wrong ring, the person suspended had, and I quote “The wrong centre of gravity”.

Where was I? In the same place but doing a suspension of my own and so not observing him. At that event btw. I told this guy what I thought of his terrible rope work. Just in case you’re thinking ‘why didn’t you confront him then?’.

Anything learned? Nope. I heard tell a couple of weeks later that he’d done a suspension in another club and that the person suspended had ‘screamed to be let down’ the instant they went up. Wonder if he’s learned anything from that? Maybe it was just another unfortunate fluke? Maybe he had the wrong equipment again? Which would be strange as he does have a very nice big and impressive bag of rope, biners etc. with him.

Am I crazy in thinking that someone with his level of talent should maybe consider very carefully if he’s got what it takes to be doing suspensions?

I’ll tell you what he has got though. He talks a good game. I was doing a suspension with my partner and putting her through a series of transitions. He was giving a running commentary to two young girls about everything I was doing and how he does it better and how I manage the transitions and how he can do it better and how yadda, yadda.

I was giving a girl a suspension experience which she was very much enjoying, so comfortable that she was chatting to her friend about how much fun she was having, no screaming at all. Then this guy starts telling me how he does a suspension just like that (only better) and how I could improve it. This was when I have to say I’d had enough of him and told him exactly what I thought of his suspension etc. The expression “The stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” may have passed my lips along with expressions such as “utterly horrifying” and possibly “completely incompetent”.

OK so the point in the end of this is… Despite evidence such as injured rope bottoms, people screaming, politely having some of their grosser errors and safety mistakes pointed out, people screaming, being told bluntly how bad they are, people screaming. There are some people who keep on talking as though they are bondage geniuses and for all I know believing it. All I can think is that some people are far too stupid to realise how stupid they are.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:17+00:00 July 29th, 2012|Bondage, Life, Rope|8 Comments

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  1. Poweredby July 29, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    “All I can think is that some people are far too stupid to realise how stupid they are.”

    This is so true and unfortunate. It seems that the worse someone is at something, the more hard-headed and sociopathic they are. And, there is always some justification as to why those that correct them or offer advice are wrong: “They’re just jealous.” “They are just egotistical.” Etc. Etc. And, the more people that try and help them, the more they view those as “out to get them.” I really think a lot of this B.S. stems from a sense that learning something equates to not being a “good” Dom or Top; their insecurity is so great, that any constructive criticism is seen as an affront to their domliness. In the end, it’s unfortunately like talking to a rock.

  2. Flurvie July 29, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Wow, assuming this guy is on your side of the pond, I still feel like I know a guy on this side that’s very similar. Though he’s just not a genius rope artist. He’s also a genius fire player, photographer, rope “maker” , floggest, an all round bdsm god… The delusions of grandure astound me.

    • MaillerPhong August 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

      This person doesn’t happen to be in Atlanta, does he? It seems like we all know someone who fits that description.

      • wykd August 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm

        Nope this was a home grown moron.

  3. Ligatio July 29, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    We’ve got the sea between us, but I can say we’ve got the same thing hapening over here… I do however hope nothing goes terribly wrong one day, both for the probable injuries that might be infoicted on the ‘victim’ but also for the ‘bad name of the bondage scene’…

  4. Steve/Striderforever July 30, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Not to blow smoke up your ass, but, It’s really hard for me to imagine anyone not bowing to your obvious expertise.

  5. BondageNexus July 31, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    I’m humbled by most riggers I know. So I must be lucky. Or selectively blind. I’ve been asked on few occasions to help keep an eye on this or that new rigger, and I’ve never encountered a case of the dangerous pride that seems to be the theme with some folks.

    One time – one time! – at a GRUE, I actually felt compelled to walk up and help out two new riggers who didn’t seem to know how to mount a ring with a climbing sling but were (GASP!) happily trying to tie a knot with it. Both seemed genuinely pleased to see how it was done without a knot. In this case there was danger, but not pride.

  6. Sauvage August 19, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    Very much agree with this topic…

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