Someone under 18 went to a munch and the world ended

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Someone under 18 went to a munch and the world ended

A quick warning. This post is about things that have happened on the local scene in England. Similar things may or may not have happened elsewhere, I have no idea or way of knowing.

Before you read this article I would like you to bear the following in mind. I am not advocating that anyone no matter how young should be at kink events. They are I agree in principle for adults.  By saying I’m not too worried if someone is a few months short of their majority I am NOT saying ‘bring your kids’. Please try, try, try to read what I put and not go crazy at snippets out of context. 

And while I’m typing this can I just say… Oh good grief what kind of a world are we living in that I have to put this kind of warning on the top of a blog post?

Well obviously the world didn’t really end, another false apocalypse. But people did get themselves rather worked up about it.

Some local munches have decided that they’re going to ID people coming to their munches. Yep, you have to prove your age and identity. So if you’re not very obviously over the age of majority and you’re nervously approaching your first meeting of kinky people you will have to disclose your age and identity to a total stranger. I might be wrong but I think many young people would find that a smidge off putting.

This seems like an amazingly big overreaction to someone a few months short of their majority having been found to have had conversations with people.

And you ARE  honestly going to alienate a lot of people if you’re going to insist on seeing ID for everyone coming to a munch. Especially nervous people, especially new people. And, it seems to me that those are the people who will most likely be affected.

Will they ask for everyone’s or just people they think are young? Will they record this information? In a scene where people are notorious for not wanting to let their real names be known this will, I confidently predict, not be at all popular.

They have no legal right to demand proof of age of course, the pub could, but only if someone wanted alcohol or it was outside of specified (posted) hours. {Obviously this could be different elsewhere in the world} And it would be a different story if it was a private event.

Remember that we’re talking about a meeting in a public house, public. The munches locally are public and held in public spaces, not private ones. The munches are public events. It is not despite what some have said illegal for minors to be in a public house. It is illegal to serve or procure alcoholic beverages for them but not for them to be there. Munches are public social events, not play ones.

None of this happily will affect the Nottingham munch or other events being run locally by Clover.

People have also suggested that education events should ask for ID to prove the age of attendees.

 OK so here’s the thing.

We don’t deny sex education to the under 18s why kink education? People can be married and having kids at 16 and they shouldn’t be able to learn about kink if they’re kinky?

Remember nobody at a demo or lecture is engaging in kink with them. They’re there to learn. They’re probably new, therefore they’re probably the people who can benefit the most from the opportunity.

Now before anyone goes crazy (again) I’m not advocating that we invite young children into kink events of any kind. I’m advocating not overreacting.

Saying that people will not be asked for ID is not saying that any age is encouraged.

So how do you deal with someone that you suspect might be under-age at a munch?

Well how do you deal with someone at a neighbouring table who you suspect is under age and who isn’t part of the munch, it’s a public event, may well happen.

Do you know what I do I stop talking about kink, or talk in code or move or talk about something else, after all munches are social events and you can be social without talking about kink right?

So how do you deal with it? By acting like a grown up. By exercising judgement, by using your brain. Not by asking everyone for ID, at a munch? Come on, behave like adults.


Just to make doubly sure this point was not missed. People will definitely not be asked for ID at the Nottingham munch (Every 3rd Wednesday of the month), at SinSchool or SubCircle.


By | 2017-03-17T09:57:07+00:00 October 4th, 2012|Education, Events, Life|1 Comment

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One Comment

  1. IndelibleMarker December 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I went to a rope lesson at 17, and the London Fetish weekend. I snuck in, but would have been very offput if I’d been turned away. Although someone did try to punch me at the LFW… But I get that a lot…

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