Recently Clover make a couple of posts on the subjects of being picky about who tied her and about the multi layered requirements of trust which goes beyond simple skill.

I feel that both of these are really about trust. When it comes to trusting your well-being with someone, trusting someone to the extent you can be helpless with them you have an absolute right to be picky.

In fact I’d go so far as to say that if you’re not being picky you’re not really looking after yourself.

I would urge all rope bottoms to ‘be picky’ about who ties you up.

I hear people argue that they don’t know what’s good rope and what isn’t. Well, this is a health issue, educate yourself. Being suspended by someone who thinks they’re really great right up to the point where it turns out that they only thought they were is a risky business. You don’t know if it’s good rope work or not? Find out. Learn, arm yourself with the knowledge to protect yourself. Seriously I see so many models work with terrible riggers it’s just crazy. I wonder what the level of safety concerned conversation before these shoots was.

Tog: I want to tie you up and then hang you up with washing line.
Mod: Do you know what you’re doing?
Tog: Kinda
Mod: OK then.
(the above quoted conversation is a ‘joke’ and not a real quote, it is used here for the purposes of satire whilst illustrating a point) *

Am I taking crazy pills or did you ought to extend some more concern over your personal safety? Yet clearly some do not take that care as is evidenced by the pictures of said models in the horrendous rope suspensions perpetrated by some photographers.

Learn, protect yourselves. Be Picky!


Tog = Photographer
Mod = Model
By | 2017-03-17T09:57:16+00:00 August 20th, 2012|Bondage, Education, Life, Rope, Suspension|2 Comments

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  1. BenHart August 21, 2012 at 7:07 am

    I like this, there is something to be said for being picky with one’s bottom as well

    screening through careful negotiation, being willing to say ‘no’ to a scene that you or the bottom aren’t prepared for, and scaling play in a way that is suitable for your partner, learning about their body and it’s capabilities.

  2. Gray Miller (@Graydancer) August 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    I agree. I remember a memorable event when someone told me she might allow me to tie her. However, she specified that she was “only tied by REAL shibari masters. Are YOU a real shibari master, trained in Japan?”

    I politely expressed regret that I am not, in fact, a Japanese-trained shibari master, and therefore would not be tying her up. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that any other “real Shibari masters” she met were probably not as ethical, as the only people I knew of in the U.S. who have been trained as she specified were nowhere in her list of riggers.

    Frankly, I think you need to go with a combination of observation and talking. It’s entirely possible to be an excellent rigger who is “self-taught” (Nom from Akron comes to mind, or Claire Adams). It’s also entirely possible to read “The Beauty of Kinbaku” and talk a good game without ever actually holding a rope.

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