It depends (Impossible to answer questions regarding shibari)

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It depends (Impossible to answer questions regarding shibari)

People often ask questions in relation to bondage that are impossible to answer.

  • How long is too long
  • How long is tingling acceptable for
  • How long can someone stay in this
  • How many wraps do you need
  • How heavy is too heavy
  • etc…

These questions broadly all have the same answer… it depends.
This is because every situation, bondage, model, tie and every day is different. How long you can do anything with bondage for is dependent on a multitude of factors. Obvious one might think but still people want an answer that they can apply ‘roughly’; even rough answers are highly subjective.

Person A may have good circulation, be a healthy weight and have good muscle tone. Person B may have poor circulation, be morbidly obese and have no muscle tone. This is an extreme example but it must be obvious that the answer to “Roughly how long can someone hang in this suspension” will depend massively on the person being tied. It will also depend on how tired, hydrated, fed… etc. etc. the person is. It will also depend on how they’re tied, how tight, with what rope… etc. etc. the bondage is done with. It will also depend on how hot or cold… etc. etc. the place where the bondage takes place is. And on what else you’re doing, have done… etc. etc. during play or the day. Also psychological effects play a large role in how people react to stressful bondage. So if someone is pissed off, sad, depressed, happy… etc. etc. It effects the answer to these questions.

Sometimes I think the most disturbing thing about these questions is the fact that even people that aren’t exactly new to bondage seem to not know why they’re unanswerable in any very useful form. Even giving a general estimate is going to be a liability if someone is going to take that estimate as some kind of reasonable working figure and watch the clock rather than actually understanding what’s actually going on.

So what is the answer?

The real answer is not always a popular one. The real answer is that you have to develop judgement. This means learning about a variety of things over time, and that means developing experience and judgement. And that means hard work, observation, study, practice, not expecting everything to come at once, and… not expecting easy pat answers.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:17+00:00 July 14th, 2012|Education, Rope|0 Comments

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