To refute or not to refute, that is the question

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To refute or not to refute, that is the question

Sometimes people make posts on forums that are just crazy, full of misinformation, logically flawed, full of false assumptions or just plain wrong.

So what do you do?
Do you ignore these posts; or do you refute them?

Generally I have chosen to refute them believing that if you don’t then there’s a chance that people especially those starting out may believe them and have their time wasted finding out that they’ve been steered wrong.

This just, well it’s exhausting, it just annoys the me and makes me feel tired. I’m not the internet policeman, I’m not the bondage policeman. However I feel that if you’re engaged in a ‘community’ and want to see it advance you do be being part of that community have take on an implicit responsibility to oppose something that you see as detrimental to that community. And I think that misinformation falls into that category.

I’ve come to dislike doing this however for a few reasons.

Firstly the person who posted may simply be mistaken in their belief and though you try it’s hard to effectively tell them they’re ‘mistaken’ in a way that they are able to accept. People naturally in some cases become somewhat defensive even though the intention was never to attack them.

Secondly some people repeatedly jump on the same hobby horse time after time and have a kind of tunnel vision about what they think is right and wrong and cannot consider any other approach or the possibility of their error. Saying anything to someone like that is just a thankless task in any case because they will never be persuaded by argument, fact or in extreme cases even sanity.

Thirdly and very importantly I start to feel like all I ever post for is to argue. That’s not fun. It sucks up energy that could be used for something useful.

A further thought is that there are many topics and posts that occur to me that I don’t post because I can well see that if I do I’m going to have to dedicate quite a bit of time to responding to replies that either, didn’t read the OP, didn’t understand the OP or plain just posted something unrelated. Also you may get one of the afore mentioned hobby horsests who will use any opportunity to push their agenda especially if you post something not in tune with their personal world view.

It seems unavoidable and is tiring. Yet you shouldn’t let things go past that you really think are wrong.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:17+00:00 July 17th, 2012|Categories: Bondage, Life|Tags: , , , |2 Comments

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2 Comments

  1. Giotto July 17, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    I feel your pain and I agree. Someone of your reputation though might think about replying with what is right rather than refuting what is wrong. I’m sure you’ve written enough to copy and paste to general topics or just post links to your blog here where the subject is relevant. That way you would be speaking positively without the draining negative energy, doing what you think is best to give good information to the community and saving yourself some time.

    Regards,

    Giotto

  2. BenHart September 27, 2012 at 8:07 am

    As someone who has been on both sides of this… let me say that I really appreciate when I’ve spoken about a technique in a forum and been completely refuted by more experienced riggers, or in some cases by riggers with less experience, but a few tricks up their sleeves that work better.

    There have been times when my ego got in the way of recognizing who was right -or for whatever other reason I couldn’t see the advantage of what was being said but in the end, often MONTHS later, I realized I was wrong, and thankful to the person who I was once defensive towards.

    This is part of why I love online forums – the opportunity to learn from each other bit by bit in the name of safer, better bondage.

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