Hi whoever you are.
What would I say to you if you were new to the scene and I was speaking to you directly?
The main thing I’d say to you is that the scene is really full of great people, but it’s also full of not so great people. So what you should do is subject everything that everyone says to you to a reality and sense check and even if it passes that, also subject it to a ‘Does insert your name here agree with this, and is this for(him/her delete as appropriate)‘ test.
You could answer yes one day and no another in 12 months subject to more experience. Your experience will build and you will discover things about yourself and what you like over time.
I always say the same thing. Subject everyone’s advice to critical analysis… Including mine.
Don’t let anyone overpower your good sense. Regardless of your D/S sub dom, top bottom inclinations or desires. Some people will attempt to impose their will or guide you in underhand ways. Some will attempt to ‘help’ you or ‘mentor’ you by showing you ‘how it’s done’ or some such.
That isn’t mentoring. Real mentors are your friends who are concerned with you and not with having their names on other profiles like a status symbol. They give you good advice even if it’s hard advice and don’t use it as a pretext for another agenda.
I don’t wish to say things that are discouraging of frightening. But I don’t want you to have an avoidable disaster. Please take care of yourself and for sanity’s sake keep the bullshit detector on.
I don’t know what’s going to be right for you I really don’t. The thing is that nobody else does either. Don’t let them tell you that they do. It’s something you are going to have to find out for yourself.
I wish you all the best and all the joy possible. I also hope you don’t let this dim your wonder or enjoyment. I really wish that this kind of advice wasn’t needed. But time and time again I see that it is.
One of the worst things in the scene is newcomers innocence, wonder and trust being taken advantage of by the predators the unprincipled and the untrustworthy. Sadly they don’t come with labels on them.
Have fun but don’t forget to look out for yourself.