Online rope bondage tutorials

Home/Bondage, Education, Life, Rope/Online rope bondage tutorials

Online rope bondage tutorials

First the unpopular bit.

The trouble with online video tutorials for bondage ties is that they’re only really useful to people who can already tie.

I have often likened this in classes as to being like learning to drive from a map. You’re shown the route but cannot be shown any feel, be given any tactile feedback, and cannot spot anything a student might be mistaken about. So my view is that the only people who can really make use of them are people who can already tie very well.

There are things I think should not be included in on-line tutorials that are made generally available.

The that are made generally available bit is important. For instance I have tutorial videos that are available to students who I know have the skills and judgement necessary to make use of them in an intelligent and reasoned way. I also know that they will ask if they have a problem or any doubt about what they’re seeing. Videos are a very useful way to share or transfer information. They’re not good however for learning as a stand alone resource especially for advanced ties or for topics like suspension.

Obviously I can’t know everyone, so I can’t say these 175,000 people can see this video and this other 355,982 can see this video. That would be impossible. But as a responsible educator I can’t just throw out all information of absolutely any level to anyone. How do I know that person 279,645 is as responsible as person 133,208? I just can’t. So even though there may be people out there that can use advanced information safely, unless I actually know them it’s irresponsible for any educator to just release information into the blue and just hope.

In many ways it’s a shame, as this is an adult activity and we should be able to treat people as responsible adults, who will proceed with due caution, realistically assess their own abilities and refrain from doing anything rash or unwise. We should be able to but I think we all know the world well enough to know that this simply isn’t the case and no amount of wishful thinking will make it so.

Even to the very, very simplest things with video tutorials people can and do get it wrong, completely, and even more frighteningly not eve know that they have got it wrong.

Here’s a real life example from my own experience…
In the lead up to a bondage class I asked that the people attending learn two knots. Just two knots. They had several weeks in order to do this. They were very simple knots. Each one could be tied in just a few seconds.  I provided links to videos showing how both knots were constructed and invited anyone having a problem to contact me just in case they had any kind of problem at all learning from the videos or found them in any way unclear. I wanted them to learn these basic knots so that we didn’t have to waste time in the class (time that they’d paid for) learning these very basic knots. So they had a reasonable incentive to get these knots learned.

Nobody out of the 30 or so people sent the links contacted me to say they had any kind of problem.

Bearing in mind that they had several weeks to prepare and learning these two knots was the only preparation asked of them and given that these were very basic knots; what proportion of those people would you guess could correctly tie the two knots in the same was as shown in the videos? I wont actually put the number here but I’d be interested to know what people guess. I’ll give you a clue though, it was less than 30 and I did indeed end up spending an amount of time teaching these knots.

Now given that example (and it’s by no means the only one I have) of how well people who are going to a class, are financially invested in spending the time well, learn a very basic thing from a video tutorial what confidence would you have in say someone learning a TK and suspension techniques from video tutorials?

Now the even more unpopular bit.

Not everyone is the same. There are, I have no doubt some exceptional individuals who could learn from videos and make quite a decent fist of it, who could apply sense to their learning, who could exercise judgement and due caution. Exceptional individuals who will work through things patiently and in order of difficulty. But that’s the thing, they’re exceptional, they are not! Very, very much not, the majority of people.

Think about human nature, now… who thinks that everyone will really work through lots of preliminary information and safety articles and… and… before trying progressively ordered simple ties each with something to teach the rigger and work patiently through the materials…. and who things a whole bunch of people will go right for the nice impressive looking tie and give that a go right off?

If you make advanced tutorials available publicly on-line then anyone might make use of them regardless of their intelligence, level of responsibility or ability to judge risk or their own skills objectively. Should advanced bondage tutorials be made available to these people? Because if you do make them available publicly then you absolutely do make them available to the last person you would think should have access to them.

If you care about teaching well, if you care about being a responsible educator, if you care about the people who learn from you and very especially if you care about what happens to the people who get tied up by the people making use of this information they you surely must have reservations about the wisdom of making advanced information publicly available.

Arguments.

I have seen many arguments in favour of putting up advanced information on-line. “But I can’t get to a teacher“, “But I can’t afford a teacher“, “But I don’t want to pay those prices“, “But information wants to be free” etc. and I’m sure there are other reasonable sounding things people could come up with. These things are unfortunate for those people but they are not arguments for me personally to put up information I know will not be used responsibly by some.

If you personally are one of those people (well one of the first two) then I’m sorry, maybe you’re a reasonable responsible person. But if you are then I think you will also see the reason I feel the way that I do.

Personally.

Between me and my conscience I cannot find any justification for putting up publicly available information that I know for a fact will be improperly learned, misused to the point of dangerousness and could completely foreseeably lead to injury.

I love Shibari/Kinbaku/Japanese style (however you want to call it) bondage, I really care about being a good educator, I really care about what my students take away from classes. I have loved seeing the way that Shibari/Kinbaku/Japanese style… (you get the picture) has risen in popularity recently. Some great new riggers have come along, some terrible ones too it has to be said but, overall it’s been fantastically good. I want to see that continue, I want to be part of that continuing. I get so much of a kick out of seeing people getting something new from their bondage. I’ve seen a few improve so dramatically and loved it as it’s taken over their lives and seen them pour themselves into their work. I have been proud to be a part of their learning and their journeys. I want all of that to continue and for it to continue I believe that I must as an educator pass on information in a responsible fashion.

Others may feel differently but that is between them and their consciences, this is between me and mine.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:17+00:00 July 25th, 2012|Categories: Bondage, Education, Life, Rope|Tags: , , , , |8 Comments

About the Author:

8 Comments

  1. Sunshine Love July 25, 2012 at 2:05 am

    That’s all well and good, and I see where you’re coming from as a provider of source material – from what I’ve seen, most educators on this topic prefer the CYA approach pretty universally. But it doesn’t much help the eighteen year old kid hundreds of miles from any decent sized scene who decides to recreate stuff from performance photos or videos because there are no tutorials available.

    And that *does* happen, believe me. We’ve got more than a handful of them locally up here in the armpit of Northern California. So while you personally may not cause harm by providing information that could be misapplied, the lack of technical information in general is a much larger concern, though not one likely to land you personally in court.

    • wykd July 25, 2012 at 8:50 pm

      But it doesn’t much help the eighteen year old kid hundreds of miles from any decent sized scene who decides to recreate stuff from performance photos or videos because there are no tutorials available.

      Unfortunately that’s like saying it doesn’t help someone that wants to do anything that requires good information but wants to do it regardless of having that information.

      Their decision to do so is their own. It’s a decision to do something ill advised and irresponsible. And if they’re a person that is going to do something without proper information what you can’t do is blame some stranger on another continent for failing to provide them with information that shouldn’t in all conscience be given to people not in a position to make responsible use of it.

      I want to give good education, good information, to ensure that the person I teach is able to use it well. Suggesting that such a desire is just CYA is bullshit and you really do know it.

      The real problem is not a lack of information it’s an abundance of people who act irresponsibly and their sense of entitlement leading them to try things they aren’t prepared for but doing it anyway and then not shouldering responsibility for their actions and people crying out “But if only there’d been an on-line tutorial! Then I wouldn’t have been an irresponsible jackass and wilfully endangered my partner! Boo to the total stranger on another continent who’s completely unaware of my existence but nevertheless forced me into doing this moronic thing!” Oh please!

      That’s all well and good?

      Sorry but that argument does not wash in any way shape or form.

  2. Gray Miller (@Graydancer) July 25, 2012 at 2:21 am

    Obviously, given my occupation, I disagree to some extent (though I think that it’s the word “advanced” that might put us on the same page – I agree, there’s no substitute for hands-on work).

    However, I did see one argument that I’ve heard (and, in some cases, echoed) that I didn’t see you address, and I’m interested in your response. Especially as you are someone who posts many pictures and does performances of jaw-droppingly awesome ties.

    If people can see the pictures, go to the performances, they are going to do it anyway. They’re going to try and reverse-engineer it, they’re going to try stuff out, because we ALL did. I don’t know one rigger who didn’t, at some point, try something that they hadn’t been taught – just to see if they could do it.

    It took me 2 years to master the suspension-worthy TK, with hands-on lessons from someone who learned from Osada Steve. But my first suspension? Was when I did a chest harness and one leg up on my girlfriend…and then she lifted the other leg.

    So if idiots like me are going to try and do the stuff anyway, wouldn’t putting a video online at least improve the odds that they might do it right?

    • wykd July 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

      I think we are to a great extent on the same page. Obviously I put up basic tutorials. I also as you know have more advanced tutorials for students that I know can utilise the information in a safe way. Some of them are aids to memory and show sections of ties that I want them to practice or that maybe they’ve had trouble remembering correctly. Also I know that I can rely on them contacting me if they have any doubts. I’m not against tutorials at all. But rather I’m in favour of sharing in a responsible manner.

      To quote you here…

      If people can see the pictures, go to the performances, they are going to do it anyway. They’re going to try and reverse-engineer it, they’re going to try stuff out, because we ALL did. I don’t know one rigger who didn’t, at some point, try something that they hadn’t been taught – just to see if they could do it.

      So if idiots like me are going to try and do the stuff anyway, wouldn’t putting a video online at least improve the odds that they might do it right?

      Believe me I’ve thought about this and had this presented to me as an argument a lot and it doesn’t change my position on this at all. If you want to try something you aren’t ready for then that’s your choice. My putting out a tutorial will not make people more responsible. We learn to be responsible and some people learn the hard way, sadly some learn at the expense of others too. I don’t think my facilitating that irresponsibility would help at all. After all to say that it would assumes that someone who’s going to do something unwise anyway is going to diligently and wisely use the information in the tutorial otherwise what difference to safety could it make. In fact it could have the opposite effect and make someone think that they knew what they were doing when they didn’t and further reduce the caution with which they approach the exercise, assuming of course that they had any anyway.

      So for tutorials to make a difference you have to make a bunch of assumptions. That people will use them responsibly, that they wont get ahead of themselves and try something even more advanced because after all they know how to do it because there’s a video right? And of course that a person who might be acting irresponsibly with something as precious as the well being of their partner is going to act responsibly with a free video they found on-line.

      Let me say I’m 100% in favour of them learning but learning in a reasonable progressive manner. Also what was true about the availability of good information and teachers 10 years ago is far less true now. The bondage world is changing and in almost every respect for the better where it comes to education. Once people really did have to work things out themselves. There has to after all have been a first time for everything, but now not learning from the mistakes and the experience of those going before isn’t really on.

      The person performing a suspension for instance is personally responsible to be informed, to inform the bunny, in order for it to be consensual, it being the kink…. Hmmm Personally Responsible Informed Consensual Kink. I like that it’s kinda catchy, and gets across the point.

      • Stella Omega September 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm

        I hurt a boyfriend’s wrists pretty badly, back in about 1974, from not knowing how to safely tie them. I was 17. SM was an integral part of me from my earliest memories– I am still sad that I had no resources all those years ago to learn what I needed to know.

  3. Cannon July 25, 2012 at 4:01 am

    Thank you. This needed to be written.

  4. […] Of course I can’t help wondering if there’s a little bit of a corrolation between people not sharing advanced techniques willy nilly and the apparently low accident rate. In my view every educator that is concerned about making sure students learn in a measured and considered manner is absolutely right in this. And anyway I have well known reservations about the teaching of anything bondage related on-line. […]

  5. […] Online rope bondage tutorials « WykD.com […]

%d bloggers like this: