When I think of rope
When I think of rope it is such a humble thing, such a workman like product of the artisan. Such a simple thing with which to enthral the senses and to bind the body and spirit of another.
And yet, in this unassuming and humble item we find the perfect means for the expression of our desires to capture utterly the spirit, mind and body of another.
Our rope becomes the extension of ourselves that reaches where we cannot, that embraces beyond our reach and holds beyond our strength.
Because of this our rope becomes personal to us in a special way. Like the tool of a craftsman. So we care for and attend to the needs of our rope as we care for something with a value we cannot express. We prepare and ready it for its role, we care for it after use.
It is after all, an extension of ourselves in our most intimate endeavours.
Badly copied bondage
It's an unfortunate problem that sometimes people copy your bondage badly. Not just that it looks bad but that the person copying something they have seen is copying it without understanding it.
The above is particularly worrying when applied to suspension bondage. Some people seem not to get this but, suspension bondage is dangerous if you get it wrong! Honestly it really is.
I find that the problem of bad copiests particularly effects me when I see pictures of bondage or in some cases hear tell of bondage that is bad, dangerous etc. done by people that I know have seen me rigging. I should not feel this but sometimes I cannot help but feel that I see poor, badly implemented or just plain wrong imitations of things I have done either at a shoot or workshop or demonstration. Did they think that it looked easy therefore it would be easy?
What to do? Nothing unfortunately I have absolutely no desire or right to be some kind of bondage policeman. I don't want to spend my time arguing people out of their decisions. At the end of the day they're adults and responsible for their own actions. But! Should you leave these people to their own mistakes? Unfortunately you have to. You cannot babysit the world, you cannot forcibly educate those that will not learn.
What bothers me is that in the case of bad rigging it is the trusting bound who is going to suffer the consequences of bad bondage not the unskilled rigger.
Many times it seems to me that people are relatively new to rope bondage and see what they perceive to be "cool suspensions" and want to be doing them. Well there's nothing wrong with wanting to do suspensions. What's wrong is when they do suspensions without grasping the basics and getting a firm grip on them first. What's wrong is when they do suspensions without a firm grasp of the consequences of getting it wrong!
Everyone has something go wrong sometime. I've had things go wrong. Regardless of knowledge of bondage, anatomy, experience and however many successful suspensions. Regardless of all I've learned in order to try and reduce the risk of something going wrong it happens. Suspension bondage is risky and it is incumbent on those who do it to be as well prepared as possible.
Now in the light of that statement consider how much more likely it is for something to go wrong with someone who isn't as well prepared. Who doesn't fully understand the risks. Who's technique and skills are at the rudimentary level. People who aren't experienced or knowledgeable to the point where they should be attempting suspension bondage. And I don't just mean the risks of instant damage. Nerve damage problems can be cumulative. Bad placement of ropes can cause problems that aren't immediately obvious and by the time they do become obvious it's too late.
I am not Japanese.
I am not Japanese.
I did not grow up in Japan. I do not have the cultural frame of reference of someone Japanese. I do not speak Japanese very well.
That may seem obvious but it's a relevant point because, I love Japanese bondage, I find it heart achingly beautiful. But when I do bondage it is a western person doing it.
Despite the appearance of some of my bondage, it isn't done by someone Japanese, with a Japanese spirit or with any of the any other of the myriad cues, associations and references that make up a Japanese perspective on bondage.
So what does this mean for my bondage?
Well everything and nothing really. Much as I would like to understand, or may study I will never truly have a Japanese mind set. I don't however believe that this means less for my feeling for bondage. It does not diminish my delight in it or my passion to tie. With a partner who has grown up in a western culture their bondage experience and the feelings that they experience when being bound must be different to that of a Japanese person but that does not diminish the experience for them. It means that the experience is different but not, I think less.
Japanese bondage has taught, continues to teach and, I sincerely hope will always have much to teach me.
It's my intention to continue learning and developing my bondage. I'll continue to enjoy my bondage, use Japanese names for Japanese ties where I know them.
Does it matter that I'm not Japanese? No, not really. It's important to remember that my background colours the way I see things and has an effect on my perception and feelings for and from bondage but does not mean the feelings are less or any less valid. It doesn't mean my appreciation for the beauty of Japanese bondage is less, it does mean that it's different.
I am passionate about bondage. I am committed to improving my bondage. I gain great satisfaction from bondage and even more from the affect on my partners. I gain great joy and satisfaction from the intimacy and connection in bondage.
The myth of the myth of Japanese bondge
One of the oddest things I've become aware of regarding Japanese bondage is the tendency in some quarters to want people to believe that Japanese masters of rope promote some kind of myth surrounding the practice of their bondage. They seem to suggest that there's some conspiracy to create the notion of some super hidden inner mystic knowledge about Japanese rope work.
This seems very strange to me as, of the actual Japanese practitioners that I've had the fortune to meet, perform, teach with, talk to, or otherwise communicate with... not one of them has ever suggested or hinted at any such thing. In fact they all communicate that hard work study and lots and lots of practice is the route to improvement.
I'm perfectly prepared to believe that there will be some who don't want to teach all they know or keep some techniques to themselves but that's hardly the same thing. So... where does this idea come from? I can think of a couple of possibilities for it.
People who can't see the path between their clumsy efforts to the apparently almost effortless execution of a real expert or can't face the amount of straight forward hard work they'd need to do. Perhaps they want to believe that there's some mystical short cut that will take them "from zero to hero" without all that tedious learning and practice. Then of course it's not their fault they can't do so well, not laziness or whatever, it's because some vital secret that if only they knew it would make all the difference.
On the other hand the myth that people have created a false myth is a useful tool to those that wish to devalue something. OK that sentence doesn't read very well but you get the idea. If you can point to something saying look it's just a myth at the heart of it it's very easy to dismiss the whole thing as containing nothing of value. It's also very misleading. These straw man arguments are created because it's so much easier to attack the straw man that they created than to deal with having to produce a real argument.
As I say those are just a couple of possibilities. Maybe it's just because of the former scarcity of information. Nature abhors a vacuum and it's easy to believe that people will fill the void with things they've just made up. Or even that they pretend to know something you don't but that it's a super hidden inner mystic knowledge that you'll only ever learn when you're worth or some other cock and a bull line.
Whatever the reason the myth of the myth of Japanese bondage doesn't really serve anyone except to mislead and the motivations for that aren't worthy whatever their origin.
To be honest with you, I don't see how this could be any kind of a benefit to anyone except those that have some personal agenda to push.
I can't see for instance how those that are really interested would benefit from being initially mislead and then finding out that they'd been mislead. I think that would be discouraging rather than encouraging.
There is without any false myth of super hidden inner mystic knowledge a real mystery and magic. The mystery is of what you don't know yet. The magic is of discovery.
If these sound mundane then I'm sorry, but I have always loved the 'magic' of learning, the moments of discovery, and the reward of hard work. Because then you did it. It's not magic, and it's your own achievement.
Looking back at the London festival performance.
I have to say that I'm not normally nervous performing. I really look forward to it and the rush of doing bondage with clover on stage.
London was the first time I've really felt anything other than excited. Nervous is probably not the right word though. Certainly feeling an edge that I hadn't before though.
I pretty much put this down to the people I knew would be watching. Osada Steve, Hajime Kinoko, Kazami Ranki etc. from Japan, friends like Esinem, Murakawa etc. from the UK.
We had no concrete plan for the performance, just an idea about how to start and a rough idea of the finish. Everything in between being done on the fly. I think wracking is a good word for it. It wasn't flawless but we got through.
Once it was finished I can't describe the feelings. Everyone was very kind in their comments. Kinoko describing it as "Very sadistic" and "Hot" was so great. Learning via interpreter that Kazami Ranki liked the performance was another incredible thrill. And finally Osada Steve liking the show and very generously giving me a few tips to improve on the final day was a great bonus for us. He also praised Clover very much as a model and commented on her strength. She makes me very proud.
Here's a video of the performance.
A thanks
I have lately thought about inspiration and where it comes from. When it comes to bondage there are of course a few very obvious examples of those that have inspired me. Osada Steve as a teacher and friend an obvious inspiration and influence. With others it’s harder to say. Chimou Nureki who’s work, taste and legacy in film and literature the western student of Shibari cannot help but see. Denki Akechi who’s style and ties and aesthetic choices have been such an influence not only directly but also via the work of others themselves influenced. Go Arisue who has influenced me not only with his aesthetic but also with his tying style. Haruki Yukimura who’s ideas of bondage and who’s effect upon the bound inspire differently and make me search for deeper connection and effect via rope. Recently Akira Naka came more to my attention and his different energy and style has added something new to the mix that though I can’t name it I feel. Kinoko Hajime who inspires in a another way with his enthusiasm and passion to drive kinbaku on for a new generation.
I wonder how many who’s names I never knew have influenced and inspired me via pictures, behind the scenes in movies, in words repeated, in their teaching passed on via others. And how many of those were inspired by figures such as Seiu Ito?
For all that share a passion for kinbaku we owe debts of gratitude to them all. I owe a debt of gratitude to them all. For without those that developed, pushed, publicised, taught, thought, wrote and spoke I, sitting in my home in England typing these words, may never have discovered this passion and pleasure art and satisfaction. This wonderful obsession that has become the centre of my life.
To you all of you present and past, who have and continue to inspire. I thank you.
It’s all about…
The longer you're around the bondage scene the more you notice the ebb and flow of trends within the scene.
One of the current fads is 'connection' you see people doing classes all over that never apparently worried about this area of their bondage before. I see people who have displayed nothing but an obsession with technique applaud those touting 'connection is all you need'.
When I see posts of that nature I think 'yes but it might be handy to at least know how not to cripple your partner' rather than just saying 'connection is all'.
Don't get me wrong, connection is hugely important. I teach classes on connection. It is in my opinion absolutely central to what rope bondage is all about and always has been. In many ways it's great that these fads turn up and people get into an aspect of bondage that they've previously neglected, not just this one, it's good for everyone to keep connection in mind. Just not to the extent of thinking that it somehow removes the need to know what you're doing.
I'd like to point out that I believe anyone tying another person is responsible to know how to take care of the person in their rope and in their care.
To give an analogy, the idea that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it with emotion is one that has led to a lifetime of wasted potential for any number of musicians that felt that knowing what they were doing would somehow 'ruin their feel' when the truth is that not learning was what ruined their development. I sometimes wonder how many people actually believe this kind of thing, how many simply do not think to question it and how many are just using it as an excuse for their laziness. (There have of course been many wonderful players that were not 'classically trained' but these without exception were very dedicated and worked incredibly hard to find their way and develop their own knowledge, none of them just relied on 'feel' to the exclusion of hard work.)
While it's nice that some people are getting away from their monomaniacal obsessions with rope types, knots technical details and realising that it is actually about people, it is alarming to see those people now saying that the only thing you need is 'feel' whatever you may define that as, and that's all with no mention of any necessary skills.
The danger of fadism is the focusing on one aspect to the exclusion of all others.
I believe that it's never one thing or the other but that good bondage is made up of a balance of factors. It's about connection but that doesn't mean it's not about skill. Yes it's about skill but that doesn't mean it's not about knowledge. Yes it's about knowledge but that doesn't mean it's not about connection.
I believe that it's a balance of a combination of things. Ever shifting and changing. The idea that technique is in the way of connection is a common misapprehension. Good technique is in fact the servant of expression and it is through your ability to express yourself and so communicate with your partner that is at the root of being able to cultivate that connection.
Is it Art or Pornography?
Rope bondage. Is it Art or Pornography?
Yes.
In all endeavours we should I believe aspire to the highest level. So can this be art, absolutely. Is my work art? I will leave that judgement to the spectator. I would not be so arrogant as to proclaim my work as art nor myself an artist.
The fact of the erotic or even the pornographic does not preclude beauty. It is just as much a part of our humanity as our aesthetic tastes.
Personally I think the brevity of the form makes it more beautiful not less. The image or the video can only capture the appearance of the moment, people can see the expressions and the movement of the moment but cannot feel it, they can empathise and imagine but they cannot be in that moment. If you like it's a creation of not just aesthetics but of emotion experienced within the moment. Not an installation.
Beautiful and brief. If I may permit myself a cliché.... like the cherry blossom the beauty is all the more vivid and precious for its brevity.
Because it makes my dick hard.
One thing that you see come up time after time is statements like....
Another favourite is "If you have rope in one hand and a hard on in the other you're doing shibari."
Those statements, though they are so very obviously jokes, reminders not to take everything too seriously still seem on occasion to be taken as the truth by some individuals. Why would this be? Is it literally true? Could it be? Is anyone really so spectacularly obtuse as not to recognise a bit of Reductio ad absurdum when they see it?
Well if you really do have rope in one hand and your hard on in the other you aren't going to be able to do very much of anything with someone else, you certainly will not be in a position to tie them up so, no this isn't literally true.
Sometimes people seem to interpret it to mean that the other reasons listed are not true. Can that be the case? It's hard to see how taking pleasure in skill, artistry, connection, beauty etc. etc. aren't real reasons to enjoy something; they are very real reasons for taking pleasure. Yet some think that the last statement diminishes the others. This clearly isn't true.
None of this suggests that sexual excitement isn't just as valid a reason for enjoying bondage as any others, but thinking that this reason invalidates any other reason you might have for enjoying bondage is a false supposition. The supposition that because this is 'a' reason, that it's 'the' reason, that the other reasons are some kind of spurious justification for doing the things that result in the last reason.
Given that the people who are generally credited for these utterances are people who have no shame for what they do and feel no need for spurious justifications for their kink this is just a ridiculous thing to think. In fact that's why the last line comes in like the punchline it is. It's a joke, a reminder that as well as all the other reasons there are visceral reasons for what we do.
So why did the other lines and reasons come from? Because when kinky people are talking about a specific kink and are asked specifically what they like about that specific kink they will answer with things that they find enjoyable particular to that specific kink beyond the obvious.
There are many reasons to do what we do. Usually many of these reasons are in play at the same time; many not even consciously available. Sometimes people want sound bites, not answers they have to think about. They don't really want or aren't able to think beyond a snappy 'sounds good to me' slogans.
If people want to reduce the complex reasons and interactions of human motivations to a shallow one line oversimplified slogan then I think that's quite sad.
A thanks.
I have lately thought about inspiration and where it comes from. When it comes to bondage there are of course a few very obvious examples of those that have inspired me. Osada Steve as a teacher and friend an obvious inspiration and influence. With others it’s harder to say. Chimou Nureki who’s work, taste and legacy in film and literature the western student of Shibari cannot help but see. Denki Akechi who’s style and ties and aesthetic choices have been such an influence not only directly but also via the work of others themselves influenced. Go Arisue who has influenced me not only with his aesthetic but also with his tying style. Haruki Yukimura who’s ideas of bondage and who’s effect upon the bound inspire differently and make me search for deeper connection and effect via rope. Recently Akira Naka came more to my attention and his different energy and style has added something new to the mix that though I can’t name it I feel. Kinoko Hajime who inspires in a another way with his enthusiasm and passion to drive kinbaku on for a new generation.
I wonder how many who’s names I never knew have influenced and inspired me via pictures, behind the scenes in movies, in words repeated, in their teaching passed on via others. And how many of those were inspired by figures such as Seiu Ito?
For all that share a passion for kinbaku we owe debts of gratitude to them all. I owe a debt of gratitude to them all. For without those that developed, pushed, publicised, taught, thought, wrote and spoke I, sitting in my home in England typing these words, may never have discovered this passion and pleasure art and satisfaction. This wonderful obsession that has become the centre of my life.
To you all of you present and past, who have and continue to inspire. I thank you.