London festival of the art of Japanese bondage (2)
OK so the cases are nearly packed, the show music is nearly ready, we even have a bit of an idea what might be in the show itself. We've got thankfully minimal teaching to do and a good chance of socialising this year. So if you want to buy us dinner.... 
I'm kind of wondering how this years festival will go, as it will be very different to last year. I hope just as good but different.
Looking forward to this one stirs up memories from the last one too. The video below features some of the artists from last years festival.
London Festival of the Art of Japanese Bondage from Hellan Judd.
Anyway our list of 'one or two' things to do in the morning before we set out has grown considerably...
If you're going, we'll see you there soon, come and say hello.
Someone under 18 went to a munch and the world ended
A quick warning. This post is about things that have happened on the local scene in England. Similar things may or may not have happened elsewhere, I have no idea or way of knowing.
Before you read this article I would like you to bear the following in mind. I am not advocating that anyone no matter how young should be at kink events. They are I agree in principle for adults. By saying I'm not too worried if someone is a few months short of their majority I am NOT saying 'bring your kids'. Please try, try, try to read what I put and not go crazy at snippets out of context.
And while I'm typing this can I just say... Oh good grief what kind of a world are we living in that I have to put this kind of warning on the top of a blog post?
Well obviously the world didn't really end, another false apocalypse. But people did get themselves rather worked up about it.
Some local munches have decided that they're going to ID people coming to their munches. Yep, you have to prove your age and identity. So if you're not very obviously over the age of majority and you're nervously approaching your first meeting of kinky people you will have to disclose your age and identity to a total stranger. I might be wrong but I think many young people would find that a smidge off putting.
This seems like an amazingly big overreaction to someone a few months short of their majority having been found to have had conversations with people.
And you ARE honestly going to alienate a lot of people if you're going to insist on seeing ID for everyone coming to a munch. Especially nervous people, especially new people. And, it seems to me that those are the people who will most likely be affected.
Will they ask for everyone's or just people they think are young? Will they record this information? In a scene where people are notorious for not wanting to let their real names be known this will, I confidently predict, not be at all popular.
They have no legal right to demand proof of age of course, the pub could, but only if someone wanted alcohol or it was outside of specified (posted) hours. {Obviously this could be different elsewhere in the world} And it would be a different story if it was a private event.
Remember that we're talking about a meeting in a public house, public. The munches locally are public and held in public spaces, not private ones. The munches are public events. It is not despite what some have said illegal for minors to be in a public house. It is illegal to serve or procure alcoholic beverages for them but not for them to be there. Munches are public social events, not play ones.
None of this happily will affect the Nottingham munch or other events being run locally by Clover.
People have also suggested that education events should ask for ID to prove the age of attendees.
OK so here's the thing.
We don't deny sex education to the under 18s why kink education? People can be married and having kids at 16 and they shouldn't be able to learn about kink if they're kinky?
Remember nobody at a demo or lecture is engaging in kink with them. They're there to learn. They're probably new, therefore they're probably the people who can benefit the most from the opportunity.
Now before anyone goes crazy (again) I'm not advocating that we invite young children into kink events of any kind. I'm advocating not overreacting.
Saying that people will not be asked for ID is not saying that any age is encouraged.
So how do you deal with someone that you suspect might be under-age at a munch?
Well how do you deal with someone at a neighbouring table who you suspect is under age and who isn't part of the munch, it's a public event, may well happen.
Do you know what I do I stop talking about kink, or talk in code or move or talk about something else, after all munches are social events and you can be social without talking about kink right?
So how do you deal with it? By acting like a grown up. By exercising judgement, by using your brain. Not by asking everyone for ID, at a munch? Come on, behave like adults.
Just to make doubly sure this point was not missed. People will definitely not be asked for ID at the Nottingham munch (Every 3rd Wednesday of the month), at SinSchool or SubCircle.
To the left or to the right starting TakateKote shibari
So which way should you start?
This has come up a few times in recent times and for me it's a bit of a puzzle as to why it does. Akechi Deneki started to the left, so does Osada Steve (長田スティーブ) and so do I. Akechi Deneki was left handed which will be a contributing factor, Osada Steve learned from Akechi Denki (明智伝鬼) and I learned from Osada Steve. (Just as a side note I used to start to the right until I had a lesson from Osada Steve). Kinoko Hajime (一鬼のこ) starts to the right and is right handed.
So the first question becomes, does is the preference the result of chance, the handedness of the person teaching? Did they consider this question and decide on some other criteria?
Personally I am not in any position to speak about any of these masters motivations and sadly the person who's opinion is probably most relevant to this question Akechi Denki has passed away.
So that being the case, what is this post about?
I've thought about this a few times but not really in huge depth. I started to the right when I began tying because that felt natural. I changed to the left because Steve taught it that way. At first it felt strange but soon it became very natural. I don't notice any more unless I'm thinking specifically about it. The reason this resurfaced for me particularly was that recently I had the opportunity to learn from Yukimura Haruki (雪村春樹). On that day I had to again start to the right.
For me it brought up interesting questions about physical physical habits and comfort. Questions that, if you will forgive the expression... make you think about what you do without thinking. Do you do what's best or what happens anyway. Sometimes it becomes necessary to break existing habits and form new ones. Which way is best and why. Are both equally good? Does one hand have an advantage over the other, if not does using one hand leave you in an advantageous position after this movement?
When applied to the start of the non-reversing style of TK my original instinct was to start to the right. I have learned to start to the left. Having tried both ways, thought about it, analyzed the outcomes and feelings I personally feel that starting to the left is better for me.
So why is it better for me? Because I feel that feeding from my left I feed into my dominant hand for the longest contact whilst handling the rope in contact with the models skin. OK so the effect of this is marginal, but when it comes down to making a difference between good and great bondage every tiny margin makes a difference.
It's certainly worth thinking about these things and not making assumptions.
NOTE: All of the above pertains to the 'non-reversing' style of TK. I was tempted to consider looking at those that use other styles of TK or Gote Shibari like Naka Akira (奈加あきら) who appears to be right handed but starts left or Nureki Chimuo (濡木痴夢男) himself who appears to be left handed and starts left. There are many others but as they use 'reversing' ties at all times I don't think this question exercises people so much given that half the tying is in either direction.
Please also note that where I have mentioned specific people's tying it is for illustrative purposes and because their work is so often cited as the source or learning or inspiration for others. I'm talking about the subject in general and it would be wrong to make any assumption about anyone else's reasoning. Where I have said that X person appears to be Y handed this is because this is the appearance of handedness from observation and not stated as a fact.
London festival of the art of Japanese bondage (1)
Well apart from wishing that the event had a shorthand name that was less of a mouthful than "The London Festival of the Art of Japanese Bondage" or LFAOJB for short. I'm really looking forward to it again.
Last year it has to be said was amazing. 10 performers over from Japan plus a few good home grown talents. This year there's more of a European flavour and even a few Americans and Canadians. There is still Kazami Ranki from Japan headlining, this is his second London festival.
I'm specially looking forward to seeing Riccardo Wildties from Italy and Bob Ropemarks (not to mention Dutch Dame) from the Netherlands. Amy Morgan from America and.... Oh it's 02:30 here and I'm blogging. Knackered and forgetting lots of people. So I'll just put - others too numerous to mention right now. There are a couple of people we wish had come that we're going to miss too.
This year will we hope be a bit relaxed for us. Aside from performing on the Friday I'm not teaching except for a few private sessions and we're not concretely booked into any of the other goings on. We really hope to spend a good amount of time socialising and getting to talk to some of the people that have been in the same place as us all over the world but we never got the time to sit down with.
There looks to be a steller line up of shows though I have to say I'm a bit sad that John Murakawa will not be performing this year. He's a real artist and he puts a tremendous amount of energy into the festival and his artistic input is a key part of it. His shows are something really special, like living pictures, so theatrical and different to anything anyone else does on stage. You really have to see one to get it, they're real pieces of theatre.
I just read yesterday that Esinem will not be performing either. He's the founder and has been the driving force behind the festival and I do think it's a shame that the pressures of the event caused him to choose not to do a show this year.
The last festival feels like it was only 5 minutes ago and also a lifetime past, this has been such a busy year.
Mr Nice.
I am not Mr Nice.
When it comes to teaching I am not.
I do do my best to be Mr Patient, Mr Understanding & Mr Informative. But let's be honest, you, I hope, didn't hire me to be your friend, you hired me to improve your bondage.
Bondage is serious and can be seriously dangerous so I take teaching bondage seriously.
I also take very seriously the responsibility of teaching. If you have a good time in a lesson that's just great, I hope you do. But that is not my goal. My goal is that you go away doing better bondage than you were before the lesson.
If you're making mistakes I'll do my best to be Mr Tactful about it. However I will not be Mr Flattery, I will not deceive you into thinking that you're doing better than you are. Nor will I fill you with a false sense of confidence or accomplishment because I'm not Mr Disingenuous.
I will not teach you beyond your ability, because I am not Mr Irresponsible.
If you are not serious about wanting to learn, do not come to me. There are plenty of teachers who will make you feel good about yourself regardless of your ability. Go to them by all means if that is what you're after. Personally in lessons I'm not trying to be Mr Likeable.
I will not praise that which is not praiseworthy.
I will do my best to improve your rope as much as I am able. I am I hope Mr Conciencious.
I am and can be many people.
But!
I am not Mr Nice.
Rope bondage is boring and slow
(As one or two people have read the first couple of paragraphs of this post and gone bonkers without reading the whole thing in context I'd like to just add this note to recommend that you read the whole thing first.
I wrote this article because people keep insisting on telling myself, my partner, friends that rope bondage is boring and slow. If they find it so then that's up to them. It's their going out of their way to tell someone that does like it that it absolutely just is that I find rude and ignorant. Also their narrow-mindedness and lack of imagination in being unable to accept that it may be a different experience for others.)
Is it? Can't say I've ever noticed that myself.
Slow and boring dynamic suspension during the London festival of the art of Japanese bondage.
I honestly find that rope is as slow or quick as I want it to be. I think that often the reason that some people characterize rope as slow and boring is that they are themselves slow and boring.
Let's face it, without skill or imagination you can make anything boring.
There might be a secondary reason some think that rope is slow and boring. That being that someone has only watched someone slow and boring doing rope, formed their impression and being a person of limited imagination are sticking to that as an absolute. I've no idea why some people are like that but it's clear that some are.
The thing that always beggars belief is the need some people who don't do bondage have to tell other people that they don't like bondage "because it's slow" as if that were some kind of absolute truth. I don't like some kinds of play and feel absolutely zero compunction to tell people what I don't like in casual conversation. Why on earth do they need to do that? To not only be ignorant but to demonstrate their ignorance? Do they really think that people will not notice that reality doesn't match up with what they say? Do they think that you'll say 'oh wow, you're right, this thing that I really like, really is slow and boring just like you're telling me'?
One of the side thoughts that comes to me from this is the apparently automatic assumption that slow = boring. Why?
Most of the time I want sessions to last want to draw out the feeling of tying. It's not just something to be gotten out of the way. Is all your kink something to be gotten out of the way? The faster something can be done the better the kink? Well if that's what you're like with your play and sensual life that's up to you. If not, if you think that some things are worth taking your time over... well what's your point?
I think that again this can be the result of failing to see the possibilities. Some seem to see bondage only as an means to an end something to be done before kink rather than being a kink and therefore cannot see beyond their preconception. There's nothing wrong with using bondage as a means to an end but that's not the same as being unable to see that it can be more than a means to an end.
Further snooze inducing rope bondage activity.
Rope bondage can indeed be quick and utilitarian. It can take seconds... or it can take hours if you choose. One of its great strengths is that it is so flexible. Rope is infinitely flexible but you need to acquire skills to make use of that flexibility.
Once you have the skills you can make rope anything from sensual to extremely torturous. Extremely quick to indefinitely drawn out. The choice becomes yours.
Slow and boring?
If you know what you're doing you can make it slow and interesting............ and hot and sensual and nasty and loving and painful and...
Oh I know all about…
It's amazing how many people make assumptions based on very limited or in some cases non-existent experience.
Even more amazing is their propensity to make sweeping authoritative and wrong statements about the things they know nothing about.
With some people even when you show them that they are mistaken somehow they still cannot let go of their preconceptions.What's even more amazing is that people will go out of their way to bring up such things in conversation.
Strange isn't it that people pontificate on kinks that the profess no interest in, have no experience of, don't frankly know anything about and yet will make categorical statements about with no basis in experience or even theoretical knowledge.
Why are people like this?
There are plenty of kinks that aren't for me, some of them I don't know a lot about. I feel absolutely no desire to make statements about them to people interested in that kink based on no knowledge. I feel no need to make negative statements about things I'm not interested in.
Yet sometimes the disparaging comments seem almost vicious. It's like some resent others kinks. How can this be? That's not a rhetorical question by the way, I really am puzzled. Why make negative comments about kinks you clam not to be interested in?
When I try to think of likely motivations it's hard come up with something credible.
- Jealousy
- Spitefulness
- Just not being nice people
- Being pathologically resentful of others enjoyment
- The automatic disparaging of anything that isn't their own kink
What can it be? I'm at a loss as to coming up with any charitable reasoning.
Are people really this sad, this pathetic?
Things kept within
Sometimes things are a bit too precious to brag about.
I've received some wonderful compliments from some awesome people and yet I can't really bring myself to share them.
I think that this is one of the reasons I am so bad at self publicity. I just can't, I can't really explain it. Recently I blogged about the incredible experience we had with Grand Master Yukimura Haruki and posted a picture of us receiving the wonderful surprise of a hand calligraphied board after a day learning with him and I feel kind of a show off for posting that. But I can't help it. An amazing time and such a wonderful happy memory. I was so happy to be there. And so many thanks to clover without whom we wouldn't have been there. And to Max at the Copenhagen shibari dojo without who's tireless efforts that week would not have happened at all.
I don't know why it is but I feel like... these things are for having, for holding within and that using them to say "hey look at me!" would tarnish them and reduce their value to me.
Somewhere buried deep inside is the seemingly unmovable thought that if I'm good enough my work will stand on its own merits. There is also something that wants to keep these wonderful moments within. To know that they're there. To be warmed by that and to feel that I have not disrespected the kindness of someone I respect.
I do what I do because I love it. I've certainly never made a profit from any venture in rope. No actually that's wrong. I've profited a lot. I've made great friends, I've visited places I never would have gone, done things I never would have had the chance to do.
I've gone places I've come to love, with someone I love and done stuff that I loved, and made new friends we love.
Truly great masters of this art have said things that nearly made my head explode, and I don't even know what to say about that.
I feel that some of those things should live within.
Rope bondage and transferable skills
One phrase that tends to set my nerves a little on edge is when people say I've done X therefore I'm good at Y.
- I've done sailing; therefore I'm good at rope bondage
(because they both involve rope) - I've done climbing; therefore I'm good at rope bondage
(because they both involve rope) - I've done engineering; therefore I'm good at rope bondage
(because bondage is just engineering) - I've done knife fighting; therefore I'm good at cookery
(because they both involve knives)
1, What this assumes is that... because bondage involves knots being good at knots is the same as being good at bondage. While you do need to be able to tie the odd knot for bondage the majority of the skills that make you good at bondage are not tying knots.
2, This is often quoted when it comes to suspension. What I'll say here is that climbers can have a lot of good knowledge where it comes to equipment and creating secure points to work from. The knowledge is good for that reason and purpose but does not translate into bondage. Climbing has very little to do with binding the human body.
3, While having the kind of mind that can understand engineering aspects it doesn't teach much about binding the human body. Purely technical knowledge has it's place very much so above the suspension point for instance. An engineers knowledge of structure and material properties can be very useful in informing you if a point is likely to be robust enough to hang your suspension point.
4, This one was kind of a joke to make a point about about not assuming that "It involves rope therefore I'm good at bondage" isn't always a valid statement.
Personally I can say that I've climbed, sailed competitively in my youth, have an engineering degree (no I've not been a knife fighter). I have years of practical engineering experience and design experience. However I don't for a second believe that they in any way make me automatically good at rope bondage. Only learning and perusing bondage itself has done that. None of this is saying that these things are not useful or beneficial to know. I always use climbing rated biners and slings for my hanging hard points from beams needs; because I know damn well that they're more than man enough for the job I'm asking them to do. I benefit from my engineering knowledge and experience in judging the strength of beams or in designing suspension frames.
So don't think I'm devaluing this knowledge it is valuable, just remember that it's not bondage knowledge, you're working with a human not just an engineering project. Medical knowledge is also very useful, it's not bondage knowledge in and of itself but it is invaluable in informing your bondage in many ways.
After all you wouldn't apply it the other way, "I'm good at bondage therefore I'm good at mountaineering" or "I'm good at bondage therefore I'm a good sailor" You might well be able to tie off a line but sailing requires you to know other sailing specific things.
The connections between many skills is only peripheral.
I know some people say things like "But they give you general dexterity and rope handling skills, surely that's a help". Yes I agree, rope handling skills and dexterity are very useful. They are however not specifically sailing, climbing, engineering or even cooking specific skills. They are useful to all of the mentioned pursuits but are not skills unique to that pursuit if you follow the meaning. They could have been learned in any of the mentioned pursuits or any one of many more, they could have been learned in isolation, they can be learned in bondage itself. They are if you like baseline human skills that are useful in many fields but not specific to any.
The only real point I want to make is that I actually see people saying in so many words, I'm good at X and therefore will be good at bondage. This is a misconception. They may have some knowledge that's peripherally useful but that doesn't make them automatically good at bondage any more than knife fighters are automatically good chefs.