Alex Cobra whip class
This class was Clover's idea, she's been organising demo munches in Nottingham for some Time. These have been free and have largely been done with local people presenting.
For some things however the most skilful people aren't always conveniently on your doorstep and you need to bring them in.
This, not unreasonably means paying for their time and covering their expens. So this would be the first time that it was necessary to charge those attending. The lesson with Alex plus the play party after was £25/person an absolute bargain. Alex was also very generous with his time and knowledge and taught for far longer than he'd been booked for. He's also very clearly a real enthusiast for what he does. He whips, he teaches and he makes really superb whips. I have to say that we got straight onto the waiting list to get another whip made for personal use.
The class itself was really great, Alex made everything very easy to understand and explained the principles behind what we were shown.
If you're interested in really learning how to use that expensive whip then you really should book this guy either one on one or for your group. His level of skill and knowledge really are a real recommendation of his classes. He's also a very energetic and engaging teacher.
We really had a great time in this class. Really fun and informative too!
Check out his stite at cobrawhips.com
Tying like me.
Sometimes people say that they would love to learn to tie like me. Can I teach them?
First I have to say that I consider these requests to be some of the highest compliments you can receive as someone teaching bondage. It really is personally something of a thrill when someone says something like that. It is however not possible.
I can't teach people to tie like me. But it's possible that I can, given time help them to do something much more satisfying and help them to learn how to tie like them.
I, no matter how much I may wish to can never tie like one of the greats that I admire. I can learn from them. I can observe them, I can be inspired by their ties. I can emulate some of their tying to better understand it. I cannot however really understand their thought, feeling or style completely. It effects mine but it is not mine. Their inspiration and something of their aesthetic that struck a chord with me however does become part of my style. And a persons style grows over time with the accumulation of experience, practice, observation, and study.
As a teacher I can I think help people to embark on their personal rope bondage journeys. I can never travel it for them though. Their journey is not mine, mine is not theirs, my experience cannot be theirs either, though they can benefit from it.
It can be that you see a disappointed face when you tell someone that they cannot learn to tie as you do. But for those that have the potential to do well they will grasp that this is not a bad thing. It is an opportunity for self discovery, to know yourself, to be yourself. Surely this is a good thing?
I cannot teach you to tie like me, be glad of that.
Self taught
Often online I see people advised to go and get tuition, especially when it comes to suspension. This is a perfectly reasonable piece of advice; and yet people argue against it with such phrases as 'so and so was self taught and they're good'.
OK that's a point of view but for the most part those that are 'self taught' are those that didn't have access to competent teachers. They had to learn by trial thought and unfortunately on occasion error. Just because it's possible to learn that way it doesn't mean it's an ideal way of learning and certainly doesn't recommend it as a preferable path.
I have something of an issue with the phrase 'self taught' in any case. I have learned from many people, most of whom have not 'taught' me at all but who I've learned from by observation. Technically you can say I taught myself but in reality some my knowledge was derived from theirs. I have built on this knowledge, drawn my own conclusions, made my own explorations too. It is this that allows us to develop, be individual, make our own contributions.
This is true to some extent for everyone. Nobody, even those held up as examples of the self taught live in a vacuum. From the moment you become aware of the work of others you cannot help but be informed by it.
We are all inspired by, learn from, our contemporaries and those that went before. In this world of mass communication, the internet, video and books, we are never truly isolated from information. With easy international travel we are no longer isolated from the best teachers even if they are on the other side of the world.
It depends.
People often ask questions in relation to bondage that are impossible to answer.
- How long is too long
- How long is tingling acceptable for
- How long can someone stay in this
- How many wraps do you need
- How heavy is too heavy
- etc...
These questions broadly all have the same answer... it depends.
This is because every situation, bondage, model, tie and every day is different. How long you can do anything with bondage for is dependent on a multitude of factors. Obvious one might think but still people want an answer that they can apply ‘roughly’; even rough answers are highly subjective.
Person A may have good circulation, be a healthy weight and have good muscle tone. Person B may have poor circulation, be morbidly obese and have no muscle tone. This is an extreme example but it must be obvious that the answer to “Roughly how long can someone hang in this suspension” will depend massively on the person being tied. It will also depend on how tired, hydrated, fed... etc. etc. the person is. It will also depend on how they’re tied, how tight, with what rope... etc. etc. the bondage is done with. It will also depend on how hot or cold... etc. etc. the place where the bondage takes place is. And on what else you’re doing, have done... etc. etc. during play or the day. Also psychological effects play a large role in how people react to stressful bondage. So if someone is pissed off, sad, depressed, happy... etc. etc. It effects the answer to these questions.
Sometimes I think the most disturbing thing about these questions is the fact that even people that aren’t exactly new to bondage seem to not know why they’re unanswerable in any very useful form. Even giving a general estimate is going to be a liability if someone is going to take that estimate as some kind of reasonable working figure and watch the clock rather than actually understanding what’s actually going on.
So what is the answer?
The real answer is not always a popular one. The real answer is that you have to develop judgement. This means learning about a variety of things over time, and that means developing experience and judgement. And that means hard work, observation, study, practice, not expecting everything to come at once, and... not expecting easy pat answers.
Fotofest 2012
The Art of Contemporary Shibari Exhibit is a 6 week long event as part of the Fotofest 2012 Biennial in Houston, Texas. I have submitted 6 pieces of art to this exhibition.
DoctorZ has put a lot into this weekend and if you can make it along, I think it will be a wonderful event, with live performances, the public are invited to bring their cameras to participate in this visually binding opportunity and discuss this art form with these very accomplished artists from all over the world. There is also the opportunity to take part in a Shibari Shoot on Monday the 19th March, you will find more information on this here.
The artists exhibiting include; Cannon, Captured Erotica, CharlyB, DallasKink, LeeDavid, DoctorZ, Jim Duvall, Stefano Laforgia, Hikari Kesho, Chi Lum, MaillerPhong, Zee Maitri, Noble Manqué, Alexander Neptune, Lew Rubens, Riccardo Sergnese, and myself with WykD_Dave. A wonderful mix of style and talent from all over the world.
Come along and show your support and have a wonderful time with all the activities, live performance and opening reception, you may even be moved to buy a print.
Below are a couple of prints I am submitting which are limited edition prints one of ten, signed.
I don’t see what’s so special about…
Many times you see posts along the lines of "I don't see what's so special about..." be it was about, Nureki, Deneki, Yukimura etc. The common factor in many of these is that the comments often come from those who are new to bondage and they're speaking about those that are recognised by skilled riggers as being very good. In some cases world renowned good.
It's sometimes possible to see why these comments can be made. I've realised over time that the more skilled someone becomes the more equipped they become to recognise skill in others. Also the kind of skills that are perceptible change over time.
Perception changes with the ability to perceive, the ability to perceive changes with practice, experience and skill. What looks good to beginners tends to be symmetrical, neat. Often people are attracted to the fancy or impressive looking ties. Beginners often like the spectacular, and suspensions are given very high priority.
Often people will ask the question "What's so special about..." people who have been seen as amongst the best for oh 20 or 30 years or longer, not only in Japan but now further throughout the world.
What might be a good question is; what do other people see that the questioner doesn't. Or maybe they were just fooling everyone, partners, photographers, film makers, students... for decades without anyone noticing until they, alone in all the world did. Or they might want to consider that they could, just possibly be missing something.
When I think of rope
When I think of rope it is such a humble thing, such a workman like product of the artisan. Such a simple thing with which to enthral the senses and to bind the body and spirit of another.
And yet, in this unassuming and humble item we find the perfect means for the expression of our desires to capture utterly the spirit, mind and body of another.
Our rope becomes the extension of ourselves that reaches where we cannot, that embraces beyond our reach and holds beyond our strength.
Because of this our rope becomes personal to us in a special way. Like the tool of a craftsman. So we care for and attend to the needs of our rope as we care for something with a value we cannot express. We prepare and ready it for its role, we care for it after use.
It is after all, an extension of ourselves in our most intimate endeavours.
Accidental
Sometimes awful things happen, not because the person who was doing them was awful but because something went awfully wrong. An equipment failure, an error of judgement, a slip, a miscalculation.
I saw a performance, there was an error, the model nearly dropped.
- Before the performance I really liked them.
- After she nearly dropped her I really liked them; even though my heart was in my mouth for her.
- If she'd have dropped I would have still liked them; even though I would be so very concerned for her.
There was a mistake, an error of judgement, a narrowly avoided catastrophe.
What there wasn't was maliciousness, carelessness or arrogance.
Please note that I liked them as people before, during and after. This incident during the performance did not in any way effect my judgement or feeling for them as people.
I have seen people's reputations attacked, their competence and attitude questioned, their character questioned because they made a mistake.
Sometimes things do go wrong because people used inappropriate technique or equipment. Sometimes because they made the wrong choices or did not consider likely problems. Sometimes it's the persons fault very clearly. But on other occasions it's worth considering that sometimes human beings make honest mistakes or commit an error of judgement under pressure.
Every incident, accident and circumstance is different. I think people should, if they can, step back, consider things rationally and at least give head room to the idea that human frailty is the true culprit. On mature consideration it may be that it wasn't but it's the apparent failure to consider the human dimension that leaps out at me.
Whatever the conclusion, try to remember that you are talking about humans, they do have feelings, which can seem to be forgotten in on-line discussions sometimes. Your words can effect them deeply.
p.s. I have wondered in light of recent events if I should post this article. I wrote the outline of this post after the event where the incident I referred to took place. I have hesitated to post the completed article in case it was taken as oblique reference to another more recent event. However I'm hoping that people will read this for what it is, especially given this note.
Doing it by the book.
When it comes to suspension should people do it by the book? For instance should you have a fixed check list and tick off your safety checks? Should it be a rigid and defined procedure, set and unchangeable?
The answer to this is a loud and very resounding no! Fixing things in this way is the enemy of creativity, the enemy of development, the enemy of growth.
On the other hand...
Certain things should be checked, some, before you start, like the health of the suspension rig and your equipment which should be checked out in a methodical manner. When tying load bearing lines during a suspension they should be tied and locked in an appropriate manner.
Where the difficulty arises is in determining what is an appropriate manner.
What is appropriate changes depending on what is being done, with whom in what circumstances. This will in the end be to some extent a matter of judgement. To be able to make this kind of judgement a person needs knowledge and experience.
You cannot replace knowledge and experience with a check list.
This can go wrong.
The unexpected can effect us all... unexpectedly. Many people say to expect the unexpected. With respect to rope bondage and suspension the number things that could go wrong is large but finite we therefore can be prepared for the majority of likely happenings.
One thing that occurs to me is that there is a difference between knowing what to do about something and coping with something in the heat of the moment. It's something you will only ever find out when it happens.
When it comes to something going unexpectedly wrong, overconfidence and arrogance are the enemies of preparedness, the assumption that something will not go wrong for you. This can lead to ill preparedness and inattention.
Be aware of the risks, consider carefully if you are willing to accept responsibility for something going seriously wrong.
It's my opinion that you should always be aware that..
This can go wrong and have very real and serious consequences.
The dangers of what you are doing should be present in your mind.
Doing suspension bondage always carries risks, people sometimes talk of risk free and having methods that are less risky but there is no such thing as risk free and it's always, regardless of method more risky than not doing it. It is always a risk. It should be a calculated risk that you enter into knowingly and consentingly and with a grasp of the possible consequences and with a preparedness to accept the unhappy consequences of a mistake or failure. This cannot happen if you are not aware of the risks, it cannot be done responsibly without knowledge of how to deal with the possible problems, it cannot be done consentingly without both parties knowing the possible consequences and making an informed decision to enter into the activity.
I have seen people say that suspension is not an advanced skill, that it's easy and can be done safely with minimal knowledge. I cannot help but see these people as fools. You are literally hanging someone's life on your rope and your partner is quite literally trusting you with their life and well-being. This is not something to be casually regarded as a basic skill. You are by engaging in this act accepting responsibility for that persons life, safety and well-being. Be aware of that fact.
There are no getouts and no letoffs. It is absolutely incumbent upon you to know your business and to take that business and your responsibility seriously.