Tying like me.
Sometimes people say that they would love to learn to tie like me. Can I teach them?
First I have to say that I consider these requests to be some of the highest compliments you can receive as someone teaching bondage. It really is personally something of a thrill when someone says something like that. It is however not possible.
I can't teach people to tie like me. But it's possible that I can, given time help them to do something much more satisfying and help them to learn how to tie like them.
I, no matter how much I may wish to can never tie like one of the greats that I admire. I can learn from them. I can observe them, I can be inspired by their ties. I can emulate some of their tying to better understand it. I cannot however really understand their thought, feeling or style completely. It effects mine but it is not mine. Their inspiration and something of their aesthetic that struck a chord with me however does become part of my style. And a persons style grows over time with the accumulation of experience, practice, observation, and study.
As a teacher I can I think help people to embark on their personal rope bondage journeys. I can never travel it for them though. Their journey is not mine, mine is not theirs, my experience cannot be theirs either, though they can benefit from it.
It can be that you see a disappointed face when you tell someone that they cannot learn to tie as you do. But for those that have the potential to do well they will grasp that this is not a bad thing. It is an opportunity for self discovery, to know yourself, to be yourself. Surely this is a good thing?
I cannot teach you to tie like me, be glad of that.
Feeling responsible.
When teaching people I find that I have a very great feeling of responsibility for those that I teach. Consequently I want to ensure that nothing is mistaken or miscommunicated and that the student has fully understood what I want to get across. This is particularly true of bondage safety.
I want those I teach to be fully seized of the nature of the danger that they can cause to their partner and the responsibility that they bear for their partners safety. Yet at the same time I don't want to frighten them away from bondage or make them think that bondage is more dangerous than it is.
If I've taught them well I hope that they will go on to enjoy bondage for many years without avoidable misfortune.
I sometimes think that I worry too much about how a student will fare after they have left my teaching. That is to be concerned for their ongoing development and care of safety.
I know that it is foolish to harbour such feelings too deeply. My students are adults and responsible for their actions. The care of the teacher can only extend so far. And yet I cannot seem to help feeling this concern. In teaching someone, to some extent, I feel that the safety of those that they then go on to tie is also to an extent my responsibility, an extended consequence of my teaching. This is why I'm so concerned to teach well.
Perhaps this is too much feeling. And yet I do feel this concern for students and for their partners as yet unmet.
Yes I know this is something that must be limited, you can only help someone on their journey, you cannot travel it for them. It's not something that rules my life or causes me to not teach or to pursue or observe students out of my care. But it is there somewhere.