Identifying Predatory behaviour

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Identifying Predatory behaviour

I recently wrote a short article on being new to the scene. In all honesty it got a lot more of a reaction that I’d been expecting. It was really just about sense and taking care of yourself as a newcomer to the scene.This is by no means comprehensive but it does include a few of the more obvious warning signs off the top of my head.

  • Attempting to isolate you from information.
  • Attempting to isolate you from your friends.
  • Attempting to prevent you from talking to experienced people within the scene.
  • Ignoring limits.
  • Being told that you can’t have limits.
  • Being told that slave contracts are legaly binding.
  • Telling you that theirs is the only true way.
  • Extravagant and unrealistic claims of experience.
  • Stories changing and becomeing more exagerated.
  • An attitude that there’s nothing for them to learn.

In a way it’s a little depressing. I’ve been into kink for more than 20 years now and I can remember people talking about predators when I first found the local scene. The advice I can give and the signs to identify the predatory time are little changed in all that time. From since before the internet (if you can believe there was such a time) the cycles of human behaviour have remained much the same.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:06+00:00 October 31st, 2012|Categories: Community|Tags: , |6 Comments

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6 Comments

  1. Sin October 31, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    Thank you for all that you do! I am a newb Domme, and this information is so vital for me! PS.. I found one of your posts on FetLife, and that is how I get here. Happy Halloween!

  2. Opalight November 1, 2012 at 5:21 am

    Very true all the above and it can happen in any country you might live in. Personally, I had such an experience which ended fast enough, as I had some time to observe him as we were chatting via Internet. At first he was charming and all was what he was looking for. It was all too perfect. And then came the change of attitude. All the rest of the people who were in the scene were idiots except him of course. He was talking in that forum on the Internet just so he can make all the rest show how little knowledge they had on bdsm while he had alla the knowledge. He kept ignoring my limits even in discussion. He would snap easily if he did not get the answer he wanted to hear from me and close communication. And then he would say that I need to say I am sorry for my behavior when he was not the stable one…all this were revealed within a month…and worse things of course which I won’t write in here. Just be careful of yourselfs, it’s not worth the emotional pain you might receive.

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  6. […] and if you want more clarification what I mean by predatory, WykD_Dave has written an excellent post explaining it. I am pretty sure that there are plenty of people out there who are genuine and honest and are […]

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