Common sense is not in actual fact, all that common.
‘Common’ sense is in fact the product of not only experience, but also of learning from it. It is not some innate something that magically turns up all by itself.
Sometimes people who are new to the scene do things and we look at them and think they have no common sense at all.
There are occasions where these lapses are due to a simple lack of knowledge, sometimes due to a failure to apply general life lessons to a specific circumstance. Sometimes people genuinely do things that aren’t sensible in a way that has nothing to do with scene specific knowledge. (Sorry no free pass just for being new on general sense)
The crucial thing and the means to acquire sense is to learn from experience. Not only kink experience but also general life experience too. It’s important to remember that normal life does not end where kink begins, there is not a sudden demarcation where something that was just plain insanely dumb in general life became something you couldn’t possibly have guessed about within a kink context. (OK so here’s a really naff example. It’s generally not a good idea to nip off without telling anyone with nobody to miss you and no idea of the character of the person you’re meeting in a private setting for intimacy in the vanilla world, it’s still not sensible in the kink world.) Yes, that’s an extreme example, No it’s just for illustration. No it’s not the only kind of thing I’m thinking of. Yes it’s just one example from many that might be made.
Also a really good thing is to learn from the experience of others. You don’t have to make every mistake personally in order too learn. It should be pretty obvious that you don’t actually have to get third degree burns before you realise that holding your hand in a naked flame is a bad idea. The whole human race worked that out long ago and so thoroughly that it got built in.
There are a whole slew of things that people do that ought to be obviously contrary to common sense though. This is why I think that ‘common’ sense is a misnomer. It’s just not that common.
Every day people do things that have obviously and publicly been seen to go wrong, yet still they get done.
And yet… in some circumstances what we might from an experienced point of view think was obvious common sense is not obvious to people with less experience.
They key to our sympathies should probably be spotting the difference.
Surely it should be obvious where people screwed up because they simply didn’t know and when they just did something that was stupid on a universal level right? I mean we shouldn’t think people are stupid because they just didn’t know something, shake our heads and dismiss their misfortune as a lack of common sense.
Where’s the sense in that?