Being a BDSM mentor

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Being a BDSM mentor

Many people have argued that BDSM mentors only need life experience, but I think that you have to have BDSM experience too. How can you guide someone else when you have very little experience yourself?

Experience is not directly related to age or to being around for a long time. Some people have very small and specific experiences. Some people aren’t suited to mentoring despite being round for a very long time.

Without experience how can you mentor another? Without having had the experiences yourself how can you advise another. Without being round long enough to not only know a variety of people with skills and knowledge you don’t posses but to also know the character of those people before recommending them as someone to have an experience with to someone you’re mentoring.

A certain maturity is also I believe a desirable quality in someone mentoring. This again only comes with experience and not to everyone. Some people never mature. Some people mature early. This isn’t related to age but to personality and again to experience. Someone could be 30 and have been around the scene for 10 years, know lots of people, have lots of varied experiences in play and otherwise, have had good and bad relationships, know manners and club protocols and be ideally placed to help someone or 40 and only just come out with no real idea of the people on the scene, no real experience of play or relationships etc.

In this example it is the younger person that would be the most likely to make a good mentor. I was not thinking of people of any specific age when I began this thread.

It is simply my observation that those without much experience are those most likely to be ‘mentoring / protecting’, regardless of age.

People new to the scene tend to get carried away. We all know this and we were all new once. Over time we all learn. Over time we all gain experience.

However I would wonder about someone being a mentor who does not take into account their own lack of experience when deciding to be one and who goes ahead in that capacity because they are ‘flattered to be asked’ or just ‘because they were asked’ or because they think it somehow enhances them to have that on their profile.

Should people very new to the scene be mentoring? In my mind no. Not because they aren’t worthwhile people, not because of age, not for any other reason than that without experience of your own I can’t see how you can advise others. Experience can only be accumulated with time and… well, experiences good and bad.

By | 2017-03-17T09:57:17+00:00 August 1st, 2012|Categories: Bondage, Education, Life|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

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