The title of this post is concerned with something that people often do not do. And that is actually see people! By that I mean see the actual person, not what they do, what they look like or how they dress. The actual person themselves! As human beings we have many mental short-cuts that enable us to function as human beings quickly and often without too much thinking. Therein lies the problem. For very good but ultimately socially unhelpful reasons we think in stereotypes. In them and us. In this and that. People are more complicated than that. People exist beyond a surface impression, have deeper lives than their appearance and are more than stereotypes. People are highly advanced social primitives. We're thinking animals. We have the ability to intellectually override our instincts if we so choose. The trouble is that sometimes we don't and we make the mistake of thinking that people are actually those superficial impressions. We are all more than what is on show. Sometimes people only want to see the surface, the simple the easily categorised. It makes life simple and saves them from thinking, from difficult moral decisions, from challenging the easy assumption. It's easy for a lot of people for instance to associate some modes of dress with simple definitions. For instance 'slut' with certain manners of dress and the assumption that goes with that as to someone's character, behaviour and ultimately worth as a human being. You don't have to think very hard to realise that there is more to someone than what they're wearing. Sometimes though it seems that many people can't think very hard at all. What about what you do for a living? People make [...]
In 2012 we had the great pleasure of staying with Hammer, Roxy and Lochai in Baltimore after that year's Shibaricon. One cool thing there was visiting the Baltimore Play House and giving an impromptu show there. This video is thanks to our good friend Murphy (BlueRisk). We'd like to say thanks to everyone that made us feel so welcome in Baltimore for their tremendous hospitality. We had a wonderful time and hope we'll make it back some day soon. Our stay was, as always, all too brief.
People argue a great deal about what they should call themselves and others. To me this seems such a pointless argument. Generally people are into what they're into for pleasure, for what pleases themselves and as far as I'm concerned they can call themselves what they want, even if I think it makes them sound a bit of a prat. I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to complain about their choice. Yet there is debate after debate on forums about terms that people have found offensive for whatever reason of their own. While I can understand if people are not comfortable with having terms that are not their choice applied to them I can't quite manage to be offended by their choice of term in itself. For some people their choices are part of their protocols. Again that's fine, if you want to be 'Master whatever' to your partner, you go ahead and be that and good luck to you. If it gives you a kick then brilliant. I'm only going to have a problem if you expect me to address you by your terms or subscribe to your relationship protocols. Because I will not any more than I'd expect anyone outside of my relationship to do things my way. That's really just another long winded way to say that I don't mind what you call yourself and you shouldn't mind what I call myself.* When it comes to the general use of words. Like for instance one that I'm very familiar with, the use of 'Rigger' to describe a rope bondage top... or bondage top, or nawashi or ropester** or bakushi or... well you get the idea. Still there are [...]
I see people replying over and over on posts "Oh but there are exceptions" and yet I don't write general posts based on the exceptional. I give it, based on the generality. Exceptions are just that, exceptional. That's why they are called the exceptional, they do not represent the vast majority of cases, people or circumstances. I can't help but think that when people make these arguments for the 'exceptional' they are mentally filing themselves in the exceptional category. You can understand why. Everyone wants to think of themselves as exceptional. In fact it's very common for people to think that they're exceptional.