Sometimes people deceive themselves with a wishful thinking that the world is other than it is. They do this in their pursuit of a fantasy. In doing so they deprive themselves of the joys of this beautiful, wondrous and surprising reality. We find great joy in our fantasies, they are wonderful playgrounds of the mind and should be enjoyed as such. They should not be the basis of a denial of the very reality from which we construct the very stuff not only of our dreams but also our achievements. It is in reality where we may love that which is before us and not that which we hope may be if we wish for it enough.
Though we are different, and though what we bring to the relationship is different. One's contribution is not less than the other. Though one needs to dominate and one needs to submit. One is nothing without the other and their worth is balanced. As people we are enhanced and lifted each by the other and not by virtue only of our part within our relationship. The way we choose to live does not make one less than the other. However you live, however you run your life, whatever your dynamic, any good relationship must consider the needs of each person not only the fulfilment of one and not the other no matter which way you find your fulfilment, through control or through losing it. This is an equal relationship. It exists because of the needs, desires and love of those within it.